


Beauty Is In the Eye Of the Beholder

by McParrot



Series: Beauty [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Female Ianto, Genderswap, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:53:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21804019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McParrot/pseuds/McParrot
Summary: Last time Ianto was a woman he was a gorgeous woman. This time he's just himself but female.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: Beauty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571179
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> his grew out of this prompt on the Touchyerwood Kink Meme - sex while heavily pregnant, bonus points if Ianto's the pregnant one. (so MPreg but if you want to genderbend one of them that's okay too.) So I did, genderbend and make Ianto pregnant and they had sex here  
> Then the story (ie the plot) kept going around in my head and I started from the beginning. I am not sure how far I'm gonna go. I don't do kid fic - I just don't, but - who knows? I don't.
> 
> McParrot is uploading all her fic to AO3  
> These pieces are not updated or re-edited  
> This fic is unfinished and I do not intend to finish it. But it does end at a place that feels complete in a way.  
> Last finished chapter posted Jan 2011

‘Have you found it yet?’ Jack’s voice asked tersely.   
Ianto grinned. ‘I’ve got four possibles so far,’ he replied cheerfully, checking the basket he was carrying. He looked like he was on an easter egg hunt with four roughly ball shaped objects nestled into straw to stop them bumping against each other. ‘But as usual things have been so cocked up on the filing system you’re lucky I can find anything. There are at least another four round things I know of down here that might be the Xaxatas’ missing Orb. I’ll find them much quicker if everyone would just shut up and let me get on with it.’ He made his way between the shelves moving deeper into the infrequently visited back rooms of the archives. ‘Of course,’ he commented, ‘if it had had the maker’s name stencilled on it, I could have simply filed it under “X” and then when it’s owner turned up looking for it we could have handed it back straight away.’  
‘Have you tried looking under “Z”?’ Gwen suggested helpfully.  
‘Yes actually. Thanks.’  
‘I mean, Xaxatas does sound like it could be spelt with a “Z”.’  
‘Or “S”,’ Owen suggested. ‘What about “C”? It sounds like a cat sicking up.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes even though no one could see him. ‘I have here an object labelled as a Thringos Sex Toy,’ he told them. He used tongs to pick it up and nestle it into his basket. ‘I don’t know what a Thringos is but if it has sex with this thing, which by the way looks like a perfectly spherical hedgehog, well I don’t want to be joining in.’   
The next object was also labelled as a sex toy and was only two places further down. ‘Oh look, a Thryasilid sex toy. Jack you labelled all these didn’t you?’ He picked up the dull metal ball as he heard various snorts over the com. ‘You know this one does look like you’d call it an orb. It’s kinda pretty. If you polished it. It’s got multi faceted sides and hang on…’ He turned it around slowly looking at it in the dim light. ‘This looks like it matches one I’ve already got.’ He reached into the basket and picked up the second potential orb he’d picked up earlier – the one labelled “Arcturian: use unknown, possibly decorative, possibly personal music player”. They weren’t quite identical but they seemed obviously made by the same technology and materials. They definitely belonged together. Sex toy or music player? He couldn’t believe they had two nearly identical items that had been described so differently. He held one in either hand, gradually turning them. The Arcturian music player had a concave hollow in one face, it looked like a model of the Death Star. The Thryasilid sex toy had a slightly phallic protrusion. Ianto should have known better, Ianto did know better, but somehow it seemed perfectly natural to slide the phallus into the hole.  
Pokqef!!!bon!ebojbojbogfb!jfbfgboj !!!fg =3!-49i9itujgw[poej!!!-0wejtognm  
The world exploded in agonising pain.  
Ianto came back to some kind of reality screaming with pain on the floor. He was being crushed at the same time his body was exploding from the inside out. He couldn’t breathe, his clothes too tight. He fought his clothing, ripping his buttons and fighting with his belt buckle with hands that barely worked. The pain was receding slightly but it still hurt, it hurt and he flung himself about, wrapping around his belly and then flinging himself backwards trying to escape the pain.  
He could hear footsteps charging through the corridors, the whole team calling his name. He was too busy screaming to answer. Then Jack was there, shining a light in his eyes, torch beams flashing around the room and Ianto realised the lights had gone out. ‘Ianto!’  
The pain was settling into specific places, no longer an overall agony. His chest felt tight, odd and achy but he could breathe all right now. It was his lower torso, his hips and pelvis that really hurt, a pain deep in his bones and right through his lower belly. As Jack tried to pick him up and Owen tried to stop him Ianto realised something even more embarrassing than getting hurt mishandling alien tech, his pants were wet. Not terribly surprisingly given what had just happened, he’d pissed himself.  
‘I’m okay,’ he gasped. ‘It hurts but it’s getting better.’ The others were flashing their torches around, checking for damage and for any lingering threat. Blearily Ianto noticed the two balls, still joined, lying on the floor under the shelving. He managed to move his arm enough to point. ‘There, that’s what did it.’ His arm flopped back on the floor weakly. ‘Whatever it did.’  
Owen was trying to check him out by torch light. ‘I can’t see a friggin thing,’ he groused. ‘We need to get him back to the Hub and run a scanner over him and see what’s going on. Here Jack,’ he handed his torch to Jack, ‘let’s check him out, see if he’s safe to move.’ He took Ianto’s head between his hands and ran his hands over his scalp. ‘I’m going to check you out, yeah. Tell me if anything hurts.’  
‘Okay.’ Really the pain was nearly bearable now. Oh fuck, no it wasn’t but it was fading. Ianto still had no idea what had happened but he did feel odd. He reached down to check how bad his pants situation was. JESUS!!! OH FUCK!!! His brain couldn’t accept what he was feeling. Nonononononononono. The sound filling the chamber, reverberating in his ears was his screams. ‘Jack. Jack,’ he flailed as Jack and Owen tried to grab for him, tried to work out what was wrong. He managed to grab Jack’s hand and tried to bring it down to his crotch. ‘My cock,’ he managed to get out through a throat tightened with terror. He felt Jack’s hand move then, reach for his crotch and heard Jack’s moan nearly as panicked as his own. ‘I’ve lost my cock!’  
Owen was pushing his shirt open, Ianto’s freaked out brain wondered briefly why he needed CPR, but then Owen was taking their hands and placing them on his chest and Ianto realised things were very wrong there too. Where in his crotch there was emptiness where there should be flesh, here there was flesh where there hadn’t been before. ‘Okay,’ Owen drawled into the brief moment of silence. ‘Ianto mate. Don’t panic, but I think you’ve turned into a woman.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Bloody hell Jack, as far as women go, I’m more Margaret Thatcher than Beyonce.’  
> Jack came into the room and wrapped his arms around him. ‘Margaret Thatcher was one hell of a sexy lady.’

‘Okay,’ Owen drawled into the brief moment of silence. ‘Ianto mate. Don’t panic, but I think you’ve turned into a woman.’  
Twtwtwtwtw  
Ianto was only aware of brief moments of clarity for quite a while after that.   
When Jack and Owen tried to get him to stand up he point blank refused. He was terrified that if he did that his legs might drop off too.  
They carried him up to the hub, put him on the exam table and stripped his clothes off. He’d never felt so exposed.  
The next thing he was aware of was lying on a bed in the time out room as Jack and Gwen gently sponged him down, wiping tears stains from his face and piss from his legs.  
Surprisingly when he next woke up he was in his own bed at home. He could hear “pow kapow” noises and knew exactly what he would see before he even opened his eyes. Jack was sitting next to him in the bed playing on the playstation. He had the headphones on so the noise wouldn’t disturb Ianto but he just couldn’t seem to stop himself making shooting noises as he played. Ianto smiled and stretched, enjoying the familiar popping feeling in his back and froze as memory came rushing back. He was lying on his back, one hand resting on his belly and suddenly he didn’t want to move it, didn’t want to feel his body. He kept his eyes tight shut.  
‘You’re awake. Aren’t you?’ said Jack’s voice.  
Ianto opened his eyes, looking directly up towards the ceiling. The light in the room suggested it was mid afternoon. How long had he been asleep? Jack’s face moved into his field of view smiling fondly. ‘How are you feeling?’  
‘I don’t know,’ Ianto choked. ‘I’m scared to find out.’  
‘You’re still a woman,’ Jack said and Ianto moaned. ‘But other than that, how are you?’  
Ianto groaned and threw an arm across his eyes. There was a dull ache in his pelvis but the dreadful pain was gone. ‘Can you fix it?’  
‘We can reverse it, yes.’ Jack’s voice was serious, calming.  
Ianto’s incipient panic eased somewhat. He swallowed. ‘Will it hurt?’  
‘Owen thinks it can be done under anaesthetic.’  
Ianto bit his lip as tears leapt to the surface. ‘Thank god.’  
‘So how are you?’ Jack slid down in the bed and gathered him against his chest. Ianto went willingly until his breasts (his breasts!) caught, pinching slightly.   
‘Oh god.’  
Jack held him and stroked his hair and his back making shushing sounds as Ianto allowed himself a brief breakdown. Jack was doing really well considering, Ianto thought, naked breasts against his chest and all. ‘You’ve been asleep for nearly eighteen hours,’ Jack told him. ‘I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to wake up. I thought I might have to do the Sleeping Beauty trick.’ Ianto didn’t say anything, just clung to him tightly. ‘I guess it must be real hard on the body, being rearranged like that, right down to the cellular level,’ he added wonderingly. ‘No wonder you needed to sleep.’ He placed a kiss on the top of Ianto’s head. ‘I reckon I know a few transgender people would love to get their hands on that gadget. We could make a fortune.’ He paused and Ianto suddenly knew what he was about to say was important, ‘When we get the damn thing working again.’  
‘What?!’ It was like a blow to the brain. Ianto’s hands clenched and his knee jerked up connecting with Jack’s groin. It was a complete accident  
‘Fuck!’ Jack bucked instinctively and accidentally pushed him off the bed. ‘Arrgh fuck.’ He sucked air through his teeth, doubled up as Ianto shakily got to his knees. Jack glared at him. ‘What the fuck you do that for?’  
Ianto climbed to his feet, his knees were weak and shaky but his legs didn’t drop off. He set his hands on his hips. ‘How long till you get the thing working again?’  
‘Don’t know,’ Jack growled sulkily, hands in his crotch.  
‘How long?’  
‘Don’t fucking know.’ Jack looked at him, did a double take and burst out laughing.  
‘What?’  
Jack was rolling on the bed, obviously torn between moaning in pain and howling with laughter. He straightened up a little and gave a hiccough. ‘Look at you.’ He waved his arms vaguely. ‘An angry fish wife.’  
Ianto wheeled to look at himself in the mirror and gaped in horror. It was him; it was his angry pose, but the body, the posture… It was true he was a woman! Fucking hell. He’d turned into his grandmother’s best friend Betty and Jack was laughing at him! Even naked he looked like some hard done by council estate woman on her high horse and Jack… was… laughing… at… him!   
‘Fuck!!!’ Jack was saved from further physical harm by Ianto’s bladder reminding him that he’d been asleep most of a day but now he was up he needed to go. He raced off to the loo. ‘Holy fuck,’ he shrieked when he realised something else. ‘Put the fucking seat down!’  
Once he’d manage to sort himself out, relieve his bladder and mop up afterwards he stayed sitting on the loo trying to catch his breath and his racing thoughts. Ianto had turned into a woman once before, so this wasn’t entirely unprecedented, but that time, it had been as if his consciousness had been transplanted into someone else’s body, the body of a very attractive young woman. It had been kind of fun, seeing life from that angle. Admirably, he thought, he’d managed not to have a major panic attack about the situation, well not where anyone could see him anyway, and he’d even enjoyed discovering sex as a woman, that one night with Jack, before he changed back. That whole thing had been so unreal, it was so obviously wrong for him to be in that gorgeous body that he’d never contemplated that it wasn’t just a temporary aberration.  
This time though…. Ianto got up and went and stood in front of the mirror. This time he’d been physically changed. This time it was all him, just changed into a woman, and he didn’t like it, not one little bit. He ran his hands over his body. His breasts were, well, they felt quite nice in his hands, but they weren’t particularly large, they were nowhere near as big as Gwen’s for instance. They were average. His hips were wider than they had been. Bloody hell, no wonder the change had hurt so much, his pelvis must have split apart. His belly was flat but he didn’t really have a waist. He still had, pretty much, the torso he’d had when he woke up yesterday morning. His legs dropped straight from his hips, as hairy as they’d ever been. So were his arms for that matter. He groaned when he made another realisation. His hand rasped over stubble on his cheek. He needed a shave.  
‘I think you look beautiful,’ Jack said from the door way.  
Ianto was too sad to roll his eyes. ‘You have strange tastes.’ He turned to face him, hands on hips again. They did seem to make a platform that drew his hands to them. ‘Bloody hell Jack, as far as women go, I’m more Margaret Thatcher than Beyonce.’  
Jack came into the room and wrapped his arms around him. ‘Margaret Thatcher was one hell of a sexy lady.’  
‘Tell me you didn’t…?’  
‘I didn’t.’ Jack shuddered. ‘I value my dick. She’d have bitten it off.’ Jack froze. ‘Oh god. Ianto… I didn’t think.’  
‘’s awright.’ He buried his face in Jack’s neck. ‘Now please. Tell me what’s happening with the artefact. Why isn’t it working?’  
Jack’s hand was moulding familiarly around his left arse cheek. ‘You fried it.’  
Ianto snorted. ‘Is that a technical term?’  
The hand squeezed. ‘It is. Yes. Tosh used it so it must be.’ He sobered slightly, rubbing circles across Ianto’s bum, the other hand warm on the back of his neck. It was still a strangely asexual hold for Jack. ‘Apparently when you mashed the two parts together it created an uncontrolled discharge and it fried it. However,’ he added as Ianto went to interrupt, ‘Tosh says she is very confident of being able to fix it.’ Ianto’s legs felt weak. ‘but she doesn’t know how long and she has also got to figure out a way to recharge it.’ Jack held him firmly. ‘It may take several weeks.’ He pulled back a little, held Ianto’s gaze. ‘I’m sorry,’ and then Ianto could see the change in him, he might be sorry but he couldn’t help himself. ‘But hey. We had fun last time you were a woman, didn’t we?’ and his hips pressed closer.  
But Ianto wasn’t ready for that and Jack didn’t push it. ‘I’m going to have a shower,’ Ianto said.  
‘Want some help?’  
God loved a trier. Ianto knew Jack was just trying to normalise the situation because sex and innuendo were what they did. ‘No thanks. Not now.’ As he reached up to turn on the water though he turned back and caught the look on Jack’s face, serious and concerned. ‘Jack,’ he said quietly, ‘tell me something honestly.’  
‘Of course.’  
‘Have I still got hair on my back?’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : It appeared he had the rest of the day off. And he had breasts. ‘Want to help me try this on?’  
> A/N – I want to thank the person (Eve) who pointed out that I have my timing wrong. In referring to the last time Ianto was a woman I was referencing the TW book Almost Perfect. Unfortunately I’d forgotten that that happens after Tosh and Owen have died, therefore it hasn’t happened yet. Just forget about it and go with the flow – ta. This fic is a (more or less) death free zone.

Wrapped in his dressing gown because that was the only garment he had that would fit him he followed the scent of frying bacon towards the kitchen. ‘Perfect timing,’ Jack smiled reaching out as the toast popped. Ianto wondered how Jack had known how long he would spend in the shower investigating his new body but somehow it didn’t seem surprising that Jack would know. He hadn’t felt aroused at all as he fingered breasts, ran his hands down his flanks and through very familiar feeling pubic hair that lead to the unfamiliar territory of labia, clitoris and vagina. His arsehole felt the same, but he’d been in no doubt that working a finger inside would not bring the sensation he was used to. He hadn’t tried.  
He’d cried a little too.   
Jack buttered toast, flipped bacon onto the plate and then gave a final stir before decanting perfect scrambled eggs on to the toast. Ianto’s heart twisted. It was his favourite comfort food, whether he ate it for a celebratory breakfast or commiseratery supper. He wondered what it was mid afternoon, not quite afternoon tea. Usually however he made it himself. Jack grinned. ‘Here, eat up. You need some food in you. Owen says you need protein, your body’s had a whole lot of tissue regeneration you need to support. He suggested protein shakes. I figured you’d rather have this.’ He paused, suddenly anxious. ‘This is all right is it? You’re not nauseous are you, I didn’t ask?’  
Jack was quite adorable when he went into boyfriend mode. Ianto smiled, not bothering to hide his gratitude or his tiredness. ‘It’s perfect. Thank you.’ He suddenly realised he was famished and tucked in. Jack leaned back on the counter, casual as only Ianto saw him in jeans, yes he did own some, and a commemorative 1988 World Cup rugby shirt. The shirt had a history that Jack had tried to explain and Ianto had ignored. He loved the way Jack looked in the shirt, someone of this world, and somehow more grounded and real than the super hero. Someone who belonged here in Ianto’s flat, cooking him scrambled eggs and helping him through an awkward alien sex change. And damn, he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t not think about, he was a woman.  
‘You can fix it, right?’  
Jack nodded. ‘Tosh says yes, it just may take her a while.’  
‘Weeks?’  
‘Possibly.’  
Ianto sighed. ‘I guess I’ll just have to get used to it. I can’t stay in my dressing gown forever, I’ll have to get some clothes.’  
‘Oh.’ Jack hit himself on the forehead and then gave a comical look when it hurt. ‘Sorry. I forgot. Gwen got some stuff.’ He raced out of the kitchen and back in moment later with several M&S shopping bags which he dropped on the table. ‘Just a few choices, you can go and buy yourself some stuff later.’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘I can help with that if you like.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes. Things were getting back to normal. He finished the last piece of toast and reached for the nearest bag. ‘Underwear?’ he asked. He wasn’t sure what he thought about Gwen buying him underwear, but he was blowed if he was leaving the house without any.   
Jack cleared his plate and Ianto unpacked the bags onto the table. Yes there was underwear. Six pairs of sensible cotton briefs, two each in peach, cream and a dull brown colour the label described as ecru. Well they’d be comfortable anyway. There were also two cream coloured sensible bras, size 16C. Jack’s eyes lit up when he saw them. Ianto picked one up and held it up. ‘Do I want to know how Gwen knew what size to get?’ C cup huh? Maybe they were a little bigger than he’d thought. Gwen had to be at least a D though. Maybe even a double D. He’d always guessed Tosh would be C. Was he really a C? Guess he wouldn’t know till he tried the bra on. He peered down the front of his robe. It was hard to tell from this angle.  
He looked up, realising Jack was sniggering. ‘Right,’ he muttered feeling himself flush. ‘So how did you get my size?’ Jack was probably excellent at sizing breasts by looking, and no doubt feeling them. Had Jack had his hands on his breasts?  
‘Owen’s scans. When he was checking you over. He did a complete body profile with measurements.’ Ianto decided he didn’t want to know what his waist to hip ratio was. It wouldn’t be pretty.  
Other than being a woman he felt fine now. More than fine. It appeared he had the rest of the day off. And he had breasts. ‘Want to help me try this on?’  
Twtwtwtwtw  
Jack was trying to be gentle but he really seemed rather over excited. Anyone would think he hadn’t had sex with a woman for ages. He was squirming, moaning, licking Ianto out and nearly coming with his own enthusiasm for the job. Who would have thought it? Ianto certainly didn’t mind. He writhed himself, the sensations similar and yet completely different while still being unmistakably arousing.  
Ianto came, taken a little by surprise with the sensations deep inside. Jack looked up at him smirking, his face wet and glistening. ‘That,’ he said smugly, ‘was a great noise you made just then.’ Ianto rolled his eyes even as he felt ripples of sensation still rushing through him. ‘Are you actually going to fuck me then?’  
‘Do you want me to?’  
‘Uh duh.’  
Jack climbed up his body and kissed him thoroughly, bringing him his taste which was so familiar and yet subtly different to what his male body fluids tasted like. It was recognisably him though. Jack proceeded to kiss him and generally drive him insane, building him to such a state of tension again that he thought might kill him and yet he seemed reluctant to get on with the business in hand.  
‘Jack,’ Ianto panted, grinding against Jack’s cock which was close but not quite where he wanted it. ‘Fuck me already.’  
And Jack stopped!  
‘Jack!’ Ianto couldn’t help the whine in his voice.  
‘Are you sure you’re ready?’  
‘Holy fucking shit,’ and he thrust up, fighting to get his hand in between them and assist Jack’s aim.   
Jack grabbed his hand. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’  
‘Fuck me!’  
So Jack did.  
Only then did Ianto realise what Jack had been doing. He’d been treating Ianto as virginal, which to Ianto’s chagrin, he actually was. His head had known in a sort of academic way that it might be uncomfortable but it was very disconcerting to discover that it actually hurt. Jack had thoroughly warmed him up, he was begging, gasping for it, more than ready, but it wasn’t enough. He had a barrier inside that had torn when Jack penetrated him and it hurt.   
He jerked and bit back a shout. It took him by surprise. He wasn’t prepared for sex to hurt and his arousal just died. But by then Jack had been waiting so long and he was finally where he wanted to be. He couldn’t hold back. Once he was in he lost it, fucking in and out with noisy enthusiasm as Ianto gritted his teeth and held on for the ride. ‘Cunts,’ Jack moaned happily. ‘Pussy,’ and other words Ianto didn’t know. ‘Sabit sa Ianto,’ he shouted and came, jerking and thrusting and finally collapsing still and happy on top of him. Ianto lay there hurting, feeling the burn in torn flesh and wanting him to get off, get that out of him - now.  
Jack finally raised his head to look at him, a happy smile dissipating really quickly. ‘Oh god Ianto. Oh shit. I hurt you.’   
‘It’s all right,’ Ianto said, probably unconvincingly. ‘Just. Could you get off now.’ He couldn’t help the hiss as Jack withdrew and he felt cum and probably blood flood out between his thighs.  
‘Oh god Ianto.’ Jack took him into his arms, cradled him and kissed his forehead, his cheeks. ‘I was so afraid of that.’ He found his mouth and kissed him tenderly, gradually building up again. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you. I can’t see what the thrill guys get out of deflowering a virgin.’  
‘Thanks for that,’ Ianto muttered.  
‘I mean, it’s just really awkward and it doesn’t matter how easy you go, you’re gonna hurt her. Well mostly.’ He caught Ianto’s eye. ‘Well so I hear.’ He reached a hand down gently. Ianto flinched. ‘It’s all right,’ Jack kissed some more. ‘Where’s it sore?’ His hand worked down his pubes, gentling into the wet and abraded folds. ‘I bet,’ Jack’s voice lowered in tone, ‘I can make it feel better. I have magical powers, I can fix it.’ He crawled down the bed and lowered his head back between Ianto’s knees. He looked up briefly and grinned, checking for permission. Ianto automatically spread his legs and Jack bent to his task, proceeding to lavish his tender parts with care and attention from his talented tongue. Jack licked with enthusiasm and pleasure (of course), keeping his tongue outside and lavishing attention on his clit. Ianto was surprised at how aroused he actually was and how little extra he needed to hit that plateau again. He came with a great full body clenching, branching out from that strange spot deep inside. He was quite sure when he’d been a woman that other time that his other woman’s body hadn’t felt like this.  
By the time Jack had finished with him Ianto knew he was the most beautiful woman in the world.   
By the time he’d tried on all the different outfits Gwen had bought him he knew he was plain and ugly. The suits hung wrong, the dresses looked ridiculous because he didn’t really have a waist. The problem was Gwen had bought clothing like that other woman would have worn and this body was nothing like that one. Those styles of clothing looked ridiculous on this square body. Fortunately she had bought a couple of casual outfits and he ended up in tracksuit bottoms and a cutsey tee shirt with a print supporting breast cancer research. He pulled a rugby shirt of his own over it and nearly looked like himself. It was depressing.  
Jack left him playing dress up and went back into work to check up on progress. The Xaxatas Orb still hadn’t been found either and the Xaxatas were starting to get antsy about it. Just another day at Torchwood.   
Ianto cleared away the breakfast/afternoon tea things and pulled some chops out of the freezer for dinner. Even if Jack were late home he could still cook him something. It was nice to have the time to prepare real food. The fridge was nearly empty so he made a shopping list and it was only as he was pulling on his trainers that two things occurred to him: one, that he was a woman and he was actually planning to go out like that, and two, that his shoe size hadn’t changed.   
His heart was beating ridiculously fast but no one paid him any attention. He walked funny and it wasn’t just that the area between his legs felt raw. His hips moved differently giving his gait a slight roll. He felt a little like a sailor trying to get his land legs. The check out girl at the supermarket knew him by sight and chatted about the unseasonable dry spell and asked if he had the day off. As he took his receipt she twinkled at him and said he looked well today, then she winked. He had no idea quite what she meant by that but it rekindled that warm spot deep inside.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Little domestic interlude in which a neighbour proves very perceptive.

Nearly home again he spotted his neighbour Deidre from a couple of houses down. She was hugely pregnant and waddling much more than he was as she made her way slowly down the street. ‘What are you doing out?’ he hurried up. ‘I saw your Nigel down the pub on Friday and he said you were supposed to be on bedrest till the baby comes.’ He nearly stopped at the death ray stare she gave him. ‘For your blood pressure he said. Are you all right?’  
‘Hello Ianto,’ she gave him a forced smile. ‘Nice to see you too.’  
Ianto grinned at her feeling chagrined, but he did care. ‘Do you need anything?’  
‘Well yes, actually I do. I need some milk and I’m going down the shop to get it all by myself.’  
‘But what about your blood pressure?’ Her belly seemed to stick out so far it looked as if she should be carrying it in a wheelbarrow. ‘I’ve got two cartons here. You’re welcome to one of them.’  
‘Have you seen daytime television lately?’  
‘Er no. Don’t usually get time for television watching, day or night really.’  
‘Well it’s bad enough to do terrible things to my blood pressure. In fact my blood pressure was going to blow a gasket if I didn’t get out of the house.’ She suddenly cocked her head to one side. ‘Did you say you’d seen Nigel at the pub?’  
Ianto suddenly realised he’d put his foot in it. ‘Er, yeah. I er think it was at the pub. He just came in to check out the score of the game.’ In fact Nigel had been rolling drunk and had been challenging Ianto to a darts contest which he’d lost abysmally when he’d speared himself in the foot. ‘He didn’t stay long.’  
‘Right…’  
Damn, he hadn’t meant to get the man in trouble. He was a decent bloke. ‘Er, so how about you take this milk and head back inside?’  
Deidre looked at him. ‘The shop,’ she said, like he was an imbecile, ‘is just down there.’  
‘I know but…’  
‘What are you doing home anyway? God you look completely different.’  
During the exchange Ianto had actually forgotten that his body had swapped genders. Now he had a moment’s panic. What could she see?  
‘I mean,’ she continued, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without your clothes on.’ She wiggled her eyebrows and Ianto sighed with relief.  
‘The suits.’  
‘Yeah. This casual look, well, I can’t say it really suits you but you certainly look different.’  
‘Thanks. I think. I… er… sick day. I’ve been sleeping off whatever it was that got me.’  
‘You’re all right now?’ She put her head on one side and regarded him critically. ‘You do look a little pale. And I don’t know…’  
‘Yeah, I’m alright,’ he said quickly. ‘At least I think so.’ He watched her hand rub circles on her belly and blathered on. ‘Not sure what did it, but I feel okay now. Bit tired maybe.’  
‘I see your “friend”,’ she made dit dit marks in the air, ‘was home looking after you.’ She giggled. ‘Don’t look like that. His flash car was parked there all day. I’ve got nothing to do but watch what’s happening in the street. You’re lucky he cares.’  
‘Yeah. I guess.’  
‘Why, what’s wrong? Ah,’ she patted his arm. ‘You still haven’t had that chat about whether he’s your boyfriend yet have you?’ The hand on her belly jumped as the baby gave a kick.  
Ianto shook his head as he felt the blush rise up his throat.  
‘He’s moved in though. I’ve noticed that.’  
‘Sort of.’ This was starting to feel like the third degree from his sister.   
‘Meaning?’  
‘We haven’t talked about him moving in. He just sort of did it. He comes home with me… every night.’  
‘And you don’t like that because…?’  
‘He should have asked me. Or let me ask him.’  
‘Ah darlin’,’ and she did look like his sister. ‘It doesn’t always work out the way it does in the films.’   
And then, as if speaking about him had conjured him the SUV pulled into the street. Jack saw them, tooted, and pulled up alongside opening the window. ‘Hey,’ he sounded alarmed. ‘Is everything all right?’  
Ianto rolled his eyes and Deidre got her fighting look. Jack leapt from the vehicle and took her by the arm. ‘What’s wrong,’ he demanded. ‘Is it the baby? Nigel said you were supposed to be in bed.’  
Deidre gave Jack a look as Ianto tried to signal to Jack behind her back. ‘Oh,’ she said dangerously. ‘Where did you see Nigel then?’  
‘Must have been down the pub, Thursday teatime I think.’ He looked at Ianto to check while Ianto did a little dance trying to indicate that Jack should shut up. They’d gone into the pub for some food and a quick drink on their way into work after coming home for a change of clothes. Nigel had been propping up the bar.  
‘So Nigel was in the pub Thursday and Friday?’ she asked and Ianto could see that Jack finally realised the problems he was causing their friend.  
‘It might have been Friday,’ he said cautiously, ‘I… can’t quite seem to remember.’ He turned and pulled Ianto in for a sudden hug. ‘How are you? What are you doing out anyway?’  
Ianto held up his carrier bags. ‘Food. You know? Good stuff. You buy it at the market, otherwise you have none in your house. Nothing to eat.’  
‘And what are you doing out?’ Jack turned on Deidre.  
‘Milk. You know? Stuff you put in your tea, or on your weetabix.’ She suddenly deflated a little. ‘You know what,’ she said quietly, putting a hand on Ianto’s arm. ‘I am feeling tired. I think I’ll take you up on your offer. To have one of your milk cartons. If you can spare it of course.’  
‘Course we can,’ Jack said cheerfully. ‘It’s not like we’re ever home long enough to drink it before it all goes off.’  
‘See,’ Deidre rolled her eyes at Ianto. She nodded her head at Jack and then back towards Ianto’s house. ‘You’re never at home.’  
Ianto gave a sardonic smile. Yep, Jack had definitely moved in. He took her arm and escorted her back up her path to her door. Jack took her other side. ‘Are you okay?’ Jack asked. ‘Do you need us to come in?’  
‘I’m fine. I should just sit down for a while.’  
‘We could call Nigel,’ Ianto suggested, moving back in a hurry when he realised she was about to hug him. Even with her large belly in the way, surely she would notice he had breasts under his jersey.  
‘Wouldn’t want to drag him away from the overtime he’s been working,’ she told them as if she fully believed that was his only reason for being home late. She smiled. ‘Look guys I’m fine. Thanks for everything. Now you go and have some happy time,’ she smirked. ‘Just cause I’m not getting any doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to follow suit.’  
Finally convinced she was okay on her own they left her and walked home, Jack’s arm around Ianto’s waist. ‘You going to park the SUV properly?’ Ianto asked.  
‘In a minute,’ Jack mumbled. ‘What have you got for tea?’  
‘Some chops, I’ll do some mash.’ He looked up at Jack. ‘Yeah?’  
Jack smiled. ‘Yeah.’ Then he laughed and ducked. ‘You do the little woman thing so well.’  
Ianto hit him.  
‘Hey.’ Jack suddenly got a look on his face like he was in serious pain.  
‘What?’ Jack had come to a dead stop on the front door step. ‘Jack what’s wrong?’  
‘Little woman,’ Jack muttered. ‘Wifey. Barefoot and pregnant.’  
‘You’re not making any sense. I’m not staying a woman for long.’  
‘Ianto.’ Jack reached for him. ‘We had unprotected sex. What if you’re pregnant?’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Yeah well, it looks like you’re perfectly healthy, for a woman that is.’   
> ‘But what about,’ Jack looked anxious, ‘possibly pregnant?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – somehow, as you’ve probably noticed this has grown from a chance to have sex with Ianto as a woman to… well… a real story. We’re taking the long road to the obvious. We will get there, but I hope you’re enjoying it and you’ll come along for the ride.

They raced back to the hub, dinner forgotten. Owen was still there and Ianto had to undergo the excruciatingly embarrassing experience of explaining to Owen that he’d only been conscious for around four hours but he’d already possibly become pregnant. Comically Jack seemed to be as embarrassed as he was. Thankfully he didn’t slink off and allow Ianto to face Owen alone.  
Owen’s comments were much as they’d expected. Once he’d said them however he solicitously and thoroughly scanned Ianto. ‘I’m glad you came back in, I wanted to check you over anyway.’ He sighed and proceeded to give him something pretty close to a full physical. ‘How are you feeling?’  
‘Fine. Other than being a woman that is.’  
‘Yeah well, it looks like you’re perfectly healthy, for a woman that is.’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘But what about,’ Jack looked anxious, ‘possibly pregnant?’  
Owen sniggered. ‘Well, I don’t think I have anything here, not even alien tech that can tell you if you have conceived within the last four hours. Hell the sperm’s still probably squirming its way up your tubes.’ Ianto found that thought profoundly disturbing. ‘Normally,’ Owen continued, ‘I’d prescribe the morning after pill, but… well, this isn’t normally is it?’ He looked at their raised eyes. ‘It’s a pretty hefty wack of hormones and I think Ianto’s going to be having enough trouble adjusting to new hormones as it is.’  
Ianto felt a huge lump hit his stomach. He tried to swallow but his throat had closed in fright. ‘You mean I might be and we can’t do anything about it?’ He reached out blindly and Jack grabbed his hand. ‘What would that mean? Would I still be able to change back?’  
‘Okay.’ Owen held his hand up for calm and sat on the stool beside him. ‘First off, I’d say pregnancy is unlikely.’  
‘What? Because it was the first time?’ Jack’s voice was scathing. And much higher than usual.  
‘No, because, while I can’t tell if conception has occurred, I can tell, from the hormone levels in Ianto’s blood, which I took by the way because I’m very thorough,’ if he thought they were going to be impressed by that he was disappointed, ‘I can tell you that if he is as normal as he appears, he is in the beginning of his menstrual cycle and there is unlikely to be an egg in his fallopian tubes.’ He raised his eyebrows checking they both understood. ‘Okay Ianto?’  
Ianto nodded feeling an odd sensation that wasn’t quite relief. ‘So,’ he licked his lips, ‘how long have we got until Tosh can get the thing working enough to turn me back?’ He realised Owen was looking over his shoulder, his eyes locked with Jack. ‘Guys?’  
‘It’s going to be a while,’ Jack said from behind him. ‘At least a month. She can fix it fairly quickly, she might have done that already, it was only wiring after all,’ Jack was babbling and that was never good. ‘It has a weird charging system that’s the problem. It can only recharge really slowly.’  
Ianto sighed and hopped off the exam table. ‘Can I go on the pill?’ he asked Owen.  
‘It takes two weeks before it’s effective. Not a lot of point really.’  
‘Well,’ Ianto said, hands on hips and voice as calm and serious as he could make it. ‘No sex then. Damn.’  
Jack’s face was a picture and Ianto turned and walked away before Jack could see he was joking. ‘Ianto?’ Jack wailed.  
Owen burst out laughing. ‘You little fucker. I’m on to you. I know you used to be a pickpocket in your misspent youth.’   
Ianto flipped him the bird and threw one of the condoms he’d lifted out of Owen’s coat pocket at Jack. ‘Can we go home again now? I’m hungry.’   
Owen couldn’t wait to get together with the girls and tell them that neither Ianto nor, for heaven’s sake, Jack appeared to own any condoms and what did that imply about their relationship these days?

Twtwtwtwtw  
They didn’t get to eat their dinner together. Ianto was just dishing up when the rift monitor went. Turned out the Xaxatas really really wanted their orb back. Jack left Ianto behind, ‘Someone should eat this while it’s hot. Besides you’re officially on a sick day,’ and swept out coat trailing behind him.  
Three hours later Ianto was sitting on the couch in dressing gown and slippers. His feet were up on the coffee table and an American sitcom was on the tele. He was investigating and quietly playing with his new parts, enjoying the weight of his bosom in his hand, the warm slipperiness of his vagina and the interesting sensations he could conjure up playing with his clit. He’d given himself one orgasm already, nearly by accident, but was holding off now, waiting for Jack to come back. Mind you, if he didn’t come back soon he probably wouldn’t and Ianto might as well go to bed.  
He was about to phone him when he heard the key in the lock. Smiling he opened the dressing gown and spread his legs only to grab the robe tight and race for the door when he realised the voice he was hearing wasn’t Jack’s but Owen’s. Owen had Jack in a death grip. Jack was wearing only his trousers with his coat draped over his bare shoulders. He was covered in blood and ichor with heavy padding and bandaging over what was obviously a pretty serious wound on his chest. He smelt scorched. He was shivering, pale and sweaty and barely able to stand. ‘He didn’t die,’ Owen said needlessly.  
‘Good,’ Ianto said emphatically. ‘Here Cariad,’ Ianto moved into place supporting Jack’s other side and Jack pressed into him with a moan. ‘Shh. It’s all right. Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed.’   
‘Don’t know why I bother stitching you up,’ Owen muttered. ‘Be healed by this time next week regardless of what I do,’ but he was incredibly gentle as he helped Ianto get Jack up the stairs. ‘I’ve already given him a good dose of the good stuff, but I’ll leave you some more for the night.   
‘So what happened?’ Ianto asked Owen. ‘Is anyone going to tell me?’  
Owen gave Jack a fond smile. ‘Our hero here got in front of a tetchy alien that wasn’t best pleased that we’d lost its orb.’ They made it to the top step and rested briefly in the hallway.  
‘Saved the day,’ Jack agreed in a strangled voice.  
‘Of course you did,’ Ianto told him. ‘So what happened then?’  
‘Well I was going to shoot them,’ Owen said matter of factly, ‘when Tosh threw the basketball at them.’ He sniggered. ‘Damn me if they didn’t accept it gratefully. Torchwood’s Grand Ceremonial basketball is…’  
With a distressed noise Jack folded over and vomited on the carpet.   
‘Shit!’ it splashed all over Ianto’s slippers and up his bare legs.   
‘Oh gross.’ Owen managed to jerk back out of the way.  
They rallied. ‘Bathroom,’ Ianto ordered. Jack collapsed on the toilet seat leaning heavily against Ianto. Ianto grabbed a towel and wiped Jack’s face. He removed most of the mess from his legs then kicked the towel and his slippers into the corner to be dealt with later.   
‘Better clean him up and get him to bed before he collapses completely,’ Owen warned.  
‘Okay, quick wash sitting here, then bed.’ Ianto grabbed a flannel and filled the basin. He washed Jack’s face properly, the blood and muck from his hands then removed the worst of the muck from his body. He was more disturbed than he wanted to admit at seeing Jack like this, helpless and in pain.  
They got him to bed. Owen put in an IV, hanging the bag on the window latch. He injected a cocktail of painkillers and antibiotics into the tubing. ‘Run this overnight. I’ll let you decide in the morning if he needs to keep it in. If he’s up and a box of fluffy ducks, obviously he doesn’t. Okay?’ Owen stood. ‘Do you need me anymore? I’d quite like to get to bed before I have to go back to work.’  
‘Thanks,’ Jack grunted, eyes fluttering open momentarily.  
‘Don’t mention it,’ Owen said turning to leave. ‘How are you?’ he asked Ianto as he saw him out.  
‘I’m fine,’ Ianto told him surprised to realise he really was.   
He cleaned up; vomit not nearly as bad as some other things he had to clean up sometimes. He put the dirty towels to the wash and climbed carefully into bed next to Jack. He was a woman, but he was fine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s got the painters in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I really did go there. If you’re going to explore what it feels like to be a woman, you have to go there. Also it gives a good chance for some sweet H/C. Nothing really squicky this chapter, however if you don’t like descriptions of PMT and references to menstruation don’t read.

Life got back to normal. Well as normal as possible with Ianto now a woman. As far as day to day things went it didn’t make much difference except that he wasn’t allowed out in the field until he stopped tripping over his feet. He was fairly sure he’d get used to the odd centre of gravity of this body soon and he’d be fine. Owen took Jack’s stitches out two days later and he suffered no after effects from the wound which had initially looked as though he had been mauled by a shark.   
Tosh had managed to fix the sex change machine but without the real charger it was difficult to power it up again. Currently the battery pack was floating in a bath of a pink solution of castilan crystals, looking like some kid’s science experiment gone wrong. It may be months before it was charged enough to change him back. Ianto shrugged, buried his resentment behind his butler (or should that be maid) face and resolved to make the best of it.  
Ianto went out with Tosh and discovered, with the help of a rather round and very pleasant salesgirl, that A line skirts teamed with longer blouses worked well for his shape. Princess seams and peplum waists were his friends, giving him shape and some hint of sexiness. His hair let him down big time but there wasn’t too much he could do about that. He was not going to wear a wig. He didn’t want to get carried away with clothing. This wasn’t permanent after all.  
He did buy some expensive and gorgeous underwear. He could at least feel sexy under his clothes. Jack seemed to find him sexy regardless and that was mildly reassuring. The sex was no longer painful; in fact it was fantastic, even using condoms, although sometimes it just seemed weird. It was sex with Jack only it wasn’t. Jack certainly seemed to be enjoying it, enthusiastically working out new erogenous zones and delighting in discovering that some old tricks still turned him on as much as ever. Jack still seemed to have moved in with him without actually seeming to notice he had done so. Jack only had about three sets of clothes left at the hub and his little tin treasure box was tucked into the drawer of the cabinet on “his” side of Ianto’s bed.  
By the end of the first week Ianto noticed that his body seemed to be getting used to the idea of being a woman. He had a LOT less facial hair, not quite not needing to shave, but if he’d been a man he might possibly be able to get away with it. He wasn’t a man so he shaved. He also had noticeably less hair on his chest, arms and legs although his pubes stayed suitably lush (and the thought of waxing was just wrong wrong wrong). His adam’s apple was smaller, less pronounced and his voice more feminine because of that. Owen said his body was just adapting to the hormone levels, just as if he’d taken female hormones for a sex change. That wasn’t reassuring, not in view of having to change back and reverse the process. By the end of the second week it was starting to be noticeable.  
Ianto was enjoying a lull in what had otherwise been a very busy week. He was inventorying the med lab. They’d had a run on all sorts of equipment these last couple of weeks, starting with Jack’s run in with the Xaxatas and ending with Owen narrowly missing losing his arm to a rabid Hoix that they’d had to put down. Owen was going to be fine but he was sore, irritable and thankfully at home on another two days sick leave. It seemed a good chance to go through his stores and see what needed restocking.  
Ianto was irritable too. He wasn’t going out on missions unless it was absolutely necessary because he was clumsy. He understood. He kept stumbling, misjudging somehow just how he needed to move his new body in situations where he had to duck and dive. His centre of gravity was off and his boobs, surprisingly upset his gun aim. It didn’t mean he liked it. He’d been pretty much restricted to the hub for two weeks now and he was bored.  
The reality of his situation was beginning to sink in and it wasn’t just work that was wrong. The thought of having to move from his nice house so they neighbours wouldn’t notice the change in him also really pissed him off. He was fairly certain that Deidre had spotted something, glued as she was to her curtains and with nothing but daytime tele to entertain her. Perhaps he should tell her he was trialling a sex change drug.   
He liked that house. It was his. It was the first house he’d ever owned and it suited him. He liked the garden, he liked the kitchen, he even liked the bathroom which he’d done up with a huge shower AND a bath. He did not want to leave just because a sodding work accident had made him look different. He pressed an arm absently across his breasts which were tender for some reason and reached up to check the high cupboard where Owen kept his supposedly secret stash of booze. He opened the cupboard and a bottle fell on his head. He grabbed for it, fumbled, got it, dropped it again and swore roundly when it smashed on the tile floor. ‘Crap!’ The reek of bourbon filled his nostrils. ‘Fuck. Bastard.’ Still swearing he went for the broom and mop and muttering rude things about Owen under his breath cleaned it up. If Owen expected him to replace that he had another think coming.  
Jack thundered past in hot pursuit of a strange butterfly that had come in through the invisible lift when Myfanwy had been let in that morning. It was a Highland Copper Blue, not alien, just rare, but Ianto wasn’t going to tell Jack that. Feeling momentarily cheered Ianto decided to leave the med bay for a moment and do coffee. His tummy was unsettled. He felt like he needed to poo, but when he’d tried earlier there had been nothing there. Now his lower belly was cramping again and he didn’t quite know what to do, it was just uncomfortable, not bad but not right and with the sore boobs and the smell of alcohol he was feeling off. Coffee might help. Coffee, in his experience helped most things.  
God, could the beeps from Tosh’s computer be any more annoying? He scowled at her on the way past and then felt guilty when she glanced up and gave him a puzzled look. Gwen had sheaves of paper taped to the star chart and was making a giant flow chart with coloured markers. She too looked up as he went past and must have seen something in his face too because she looked all concerned. ‘Are you all right love?’  
‘Yes fine,’ Ianto snarled. ‘Got covered in Owen’s sodding booze and can’t get used to wearing a fucking bra.’ He plucked at the offending item which was feeling too tight and probably slightly twisted. He grabbed for it through his blouse and gave it a yank trying to straighten it, daring Gwen to say anything. She raised her eyes and he saw her look at Tosh. They both grinned. He glared at them.  
‘Ianto love…’ Gwen started. She stammered when she saw his face but gamely continued. ‘Are you feeling a bit off by any chance? You know bloating, cramps…’ Ianto felt a horrible realisation dawn on him. ‘Are your boobs a bit sore?’  
The horrified look on his face must have told her what she needed to know. Tosh came up to stand at her side. ‘PMT,’ they both said sympathetically.  
He stared at them, brain temporarily shut down. PMT? Pre menstrual tension? Fuck! Another cramp pulled at his guts and he fought not to pull in to it, not to show any sign. ‘Fuck that,’ came out of his mouth and he turned and fled. He got to the kitchenette and started pulling out the gear to make coffee. Making coffee always calmed him. He reached for the coffee jar, measured out the beans and putting them in the grinder. Then somehow he knocked the still open jar across the bench, knocking it over and sending his best aribica beans bouncing across the ancient mingy lino floor. He stared at them for a minute. ‘Fuck!’ Suddenly something in him broke and he flung the jar at the window where it made a wonderful crash and followed it with a handful of cutlery and the milk jug.  
He could see Gwen outside wondering if she should attempt to come in so he reached behind him, picked up the first thing his hand touched and threw that. Rubber gloves don’t fly very well. He met Gwen’s eye and dammit she was trying not to laugh! He kicked off his stupid bloody shoes and heaved those at her, diving out the door and heading up.   
The walkways around the hub got more and more user unfriendly the higher you went, the upper levels made solely for access to ancient wiring, lighting and alarms. The upper gantries were perfect for getting away from annoying co workers and getting a different perspective on the world. The upper gantries were also made of rough metal grating that had never been intended to be walked on by someone wearing only stockings on their feet.  
The pain in his feet eventually overrode his anger and he sank down onto the grating, back against the wall, knees pulled into his chest and body wrapped around the griping ache in his pelvis. Nearly as high as he could go, only one level below the pterosaur den, just below the enormous gears that worked the lift. He was hampered in his pose by the fact that he was wearing a skirt.   
Jack cautiously approached him half an hour later. ‘I’m crying like a girl,’ Ianto told him carefully. He’d been rehearsing the line for at least the last twenty minutes. He gave a hiccough that developed into a full blown sob when Jack settled beside him and pulled him into his arms. ‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered into Jack’s neck. ‘I’m sorry. This is so silly. Women put up with this all the time.’  
‘Shhh. Shhh.’ Jack rubbed circles on his back. ‘It’s all right. You know I’ve been expecting you to break down sometime. You’ve gone two weeks and just seemed to get on with things. That’s very you Ianto, but it’s not normal.’ Ianto looked up to see Jack staring earnestly at him. He wasn’t taking the piss. Jack continued, ‘Sure, women live through this all the time. But Ianto, you’re not a woman. Well you are, but you shouldn’t be. You didn’t ask to be. This happened to you because of alien intervention.’ Ianto couldn’t believe that Jack didn’t mention that it was all Ianto’s own fault from stupidly mishandling alien tech. ‘You’re allowed to get upset.’ Jack stood. ‘Here.’ Like a magician he produced Ianto’s spare pair of shoes from inside his coat. They were the ones from his locker, a pair of trainers. ‘I thought you might want these.’ He smiled as Ianto gratefully pulled them on over his tattered stockings. ‘Come on. I’ll take you home.’  
Ianto allowed himself to be hauled upright, wiping his eyes on Jack’s shirt and clinging to him a little more than he needed to for balance. Jack didn’t seem to mind. ‘I can’t go home. We’re short with Owen out as it is.’  
Jack wrapped an arm around him. ‘You can go home. You’re not feeling well, you’re distracted and it’s all down to alien intervention. Besides, things are quiet.’ He started leading the way back down the ladders, Ianto walking so much easier with decent footwear. ‘Anyway,’ Jack concluded, ‘if something does happen Owen can come in and man the comms. If we have to, you can come back, but nah, come on. It will be fine.’


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s got the painters in and Jack knows how to fix cramps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the positive responses to the last chapter and warning that this chapter takes menstruation and goes all the way. Yes I really really did go there. As I said last time, if you’re going to explore what it feels like to be a woman, you have to go there.

When they got home Jack shrugged off his coat, obviously he was staying for a while too then. ‘Go and have a shower, the heat will make you feel better. Then, um…’ Jack was looking at his arse and not in a good way, ‘… ah… you’ll need these.’ He handed Ianto a shopping bag Gwen had given him as they were leaving. ‘Supplies.’  
Oh God! Ianto twisted trying to get a look at the back of his skirt, but now that he was aware he could feel the wetness between his legs. He just hadn’t connected the sensation with the cramps and what was happening with his body. He felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. Oh god, he could smell it too, just a vaguely feral edge to his usual odour. ‘Not PMT then,’ he said, his voice like a squeak. ‘Not pre anyway.’  
‘No,’ Jack said gently. ‘Go on. Go clean yourself up. You’ll be fine. I’ll put the kettle on.’  
Ianto showered, the water scalding hot. He was a little disconcerted, freaked out by the amount of blood on his undies, the redness sluicing away as he washed between his legs. The cramping pains were still distressing but the blood was worse. Jack was right about one thing, the hot water helped. Later he sat on the loo, wrapped in his dressing gown and tried to insert a tampon before giving up in frustration and close to tears. It just wouldn’t seem to go where he put it and it certainly wouldn’t stay there with any level of comfort. Thankfully Gwen had included sanitary napkins in the package as well and he fixed one to his clean underpants and headed for bed. He just wanted to curl up and die until it was over.   
Jack had other ideas, arriving with a tea tray and a packet of chocolate hobnobs and setting them down on the bedside cabinet. There was also a packet of paracetamol. Jack climbed onto the bed and wordlessly took him back into his arms, seeming to understand that Ianto didn’t want to talk anymore. Ianto cried a bit more before allowing Jack to coax him upright to drink his tea and take the painkillers. ‘You’re not going back into work?’ he asked.  
‘No,’ Jack said simply. ‘You need me.’  
Oh. Ianto didn’t have words for that.   
‘It’s a treat,’ Jack said a while later, ‘to take time out like this. To not be running around like a mad thing trying to save the world. I like being here, in bed with you.’  
Ianto grinned. ‘Of course you do.’  
Jack turned one of his leers on him. ‘You know there is one really good method of soothing period pains.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes. ‘You’re going to say sex, aren’t you?’  
‘Seriously,’ Jack said. ‘Yes.’ He smiled. ‘It’s true, ask Owen. The contractions and the hormones released by orgasm are really good at stopping the pain.’ He bent and kissed Ianto gently. ‘Let me make you feel better.’  
‘But…’ Ianto couldn’t feel less sexy if he’d tried. The thought of the blood, the mess and besides, he just felt cruddy. He hurt.  
‘Shhh,’ Jack’s hand settled gently on a tender breast, his thumb lightly pressing the nipple causing a twinge that was between pleasure and pain. Ianto squeaked. ‘Just relax,’ Jack soothed him. ‘This is all for you and it works. Trust me.’  
Ianto trusted Jack. And who knew, maybe some of Jack’s sex change stories were actually true and he knew first hand. Either way he’d certainly had plenty of experience with woman to have learnt from applying the hands on approach to hundreds of others feeling like this. Sometimes the potential numbers of Jack’s partners seemed infinitely large, like the numbers of stars in the sky.  
‘Ianto…’ Jack breathed into his neck. ‘Are you with me?’  
‘All right.’ He lay back as Jack settled beside him pulling him close. He opened the robe and his hands fondled his breasts, Ianto could smell himself, warm and sweetly scented skin from the shower. His sense of smell seemed to have increased. He pressed up into Jack’s hands and sniffed, he could smell Jack, his pheromones revving up as he became aroused, but the base notes of musk and sweat and Jack underneath and… this new scent, the wild smell of blood, faint now, but still there. ‘Can you smell me?’ he asked Jack who was burying his nose between his breasts.  
‘Yes,’ Jack said looking up. ‘I can always smell you. I can smell all of you. I can tell when Owen’s had sex. Or you for that matter, but since that’s only been with me for a long time now, well I’m being a bit narcissistic if I notice that.’ Ianto was fascinated. He also wondered how much of that was true, if Jack had known the nights he’d wanked in the basement with Lisa? ‘If you’re interested,’ Jack continued unaware of Ianto’s train of thought, ‘Tosh is about three days in and Gwen’s just started. I knew you were due. It’s interesting that you’ve synced with them so soon.’  
‘That is gross.’  
‘Nope. I like to know.’ Jack’s hand was trailing down now, tracing along the waistband of his practical cotton underpants. He placed his hand warm and soothing over the pain and rubbed. Ianto moaned. ‘That’s the spot then?’ Ianto pressed his hips up, pushing his belly into Jack’s hand.   
Jack stopped talking then, reaching over to kiss him, long and tender and deep. Ianto drowned in it, Jack’s scent and taste and the feel of his tongue and lips, exploring, loving and joining with him. His hands started to move. Ianto’s skin felt over sensitive, thinner, nerve endings close to the surface. He moaned, pressing into him. He was definitely feeling aroused now. Jack’s hand made it back to the waist band of his knickers. ‘Jack. Stop.’ Ianto grabbed for his hand and stilled it. ‘I don’t want sex, no penetration. Okay?’  
‘Okay,’ Jack said smoothly. ‘This is for you Ianto, what you want. I’ll never force you.’ And Ianto felt an idiot because he was worrying about the mess and what was a little menstrual blood compared with the mess they sometimes made in bed? Because they had anal sex and sometimes, in fact quite frequently there was faecal matter, even if the bowel was empty. As semen leaked out afterwards it often brought residue from the bowel with it. But he was used to that and this was new and just… yucky. Jack started working on his undies.   
‘No. Leave them on.’  
‘Okay.’ Now Jack was sounding a little peevish. ‘Am I allowed to touch you at all? I want to give you an orgasm here. Make you feel better. You’re making that a little bit hard.’ He brought his hand down to Ianto’s crotch, gripping him hard through the pad.   
‘It’s okay,’ Ianto gasped grinding himself into Jack’s hand. ‘Touch me. Just leave the knickers on.’  
Jack’s finger worked its way through the leg hole brushing down his pubic hair. ‘Is this all right?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘Good. It’s easier like this.’ The finger disappeared and Jack’s hand snaked down the front of his pants and settled over this mound. ‘Is this okay?’ He pressed a finger down into Ianto’s crack.  
‘Aaaaa. Oh yeah,’ Ianto sighed and lifted back up seeking Jack’s mouth for another kiss. Jack’s hand worked down, fingers curling and pressing up inside. Ianto gasped and broke the kiss as Jack’s thumb pressed his clit. ‘Oh god.’  
Jack suckled his breasts, fingers skilfully dancing in Ianto’s insides, dragging the pain and discomfort from his whole body into his pelvis and heating it to white hot molten need. ‘Jack.’ Ianto writhed, his whole body flowing into the magic of Jack’s hands. ‘Jack, god, please.’  
‘That’s it,’ Jack whispered, voice husky and low. ‘Beautiful. You’re beautiful. Feel it Ianto. Feel me.’  
‘God yes,’ the growl was nearly as deep as his voice used to be.  
Jack tweaked his fingers, finding that spot, the one that… oh… ‘Like that… Jack!’ The heat exploded out, his hips pressed down into the bed until his spine must snap, then jerked up, his body trembling and shaking, legs clamping together and cunt clasping at Jack’s hand. ‘Jaack.’  
Ianto fell back onto the bed, languid and limp. Jack’s free hand was scrabbling at his own pants, his other hand still lost in Ianto’s pants, fingers inside him. Ianto didn’t care. Jack could do what he liked. Ianto didn’t think he could move and he certainly couldn’t think. Christ Jack was good.   
‘At least we know you didn’t get pregnant,’ Jack said as he pulled his hand out of Ianto’s knickers his fingers glistening with juices and smears of blood. He sniffed his fingers with pleasure but Ianto skewered him with a look when he seemed about to lick them. Jack reached down into his trousers instead and grabbed his cock leaning across him for a filthy kiss, fisting himself frantically and making Ianto momentarily regret his no penetrative sex rule.  
His phone rang.  
‘Fuck!’  
‘Erghhh!’  
Ianto rolled over reaching for the phone meaning Jack fell face down on the bed where he stayed, grunting and rutting. He fumbled for the phone, checking the caller ID. Deidre. ‘Sabit sa Yan…’ Jack moaned behind him, his body jerking. Jack often slipped into nonsense words just before orgasm, some of which Ianto suspected were actually from his first language, ‘Guuuuhhhh Yaaah!’ before losing all coherence as he came.  
‘Hello Deidre,’ Ianto said.  
‘Oh God!’ Deidre shrieked.  
‘Oh god,’ Jack moaned. Ianto drowned him out. Deidre was nearly incoherent too but she was obviously distressed. ‘Shhh. Calm down love. Is it the baby? Is the baby coming?’ He started searching for jeans and a tee shirt. He could hear Deidre take some deep breaths.   
‘Yes,’ she said calmly and succinctly. ‘The baby is coming and,’ her voice rose to a shriek, ‘bloody fucking Nigel is MIA again.’ She took some more breaths, probably through her teeth by the sound of it. ‘Fuck it fuck it fuck it.’  
‘The baby’s coming,’ he told Jack who was still face down on the bed. He grinned at the bemused look on Jack’s face as he turned his head. ‘Okay,’ back into the phone. ‘Jack’s home too. One of us will be there in a minute. The other one will head for the pub and track Nigel down. Okay?’  
‘Thank you,’ she said in a strangled voice. ‘Oh gohhhd!’ And she hung up.  
Jack was sitting up, reaching for his shoes. Ianto grabbed a handful of tissues and passed them to him with a nod towards his groin. ‘Right,’ Jack said as he swabbed at himself. ‘Oh god,’ he groaned as he realised just how much mess he’d made. ‘You go to Deidre. If the baby’s coming, take her to the hospital. Don’t muck about.’ He stood up and shucked out of this pants. ‘I’ll have a quick clean up then see if I can track down prat Nigel.’ Ianto was still fumbling with his bra and Jack did it up for him. He hadn’t yet got the hang of doing it quickly. ‘Take the SUV. Run with lights if you need to. I’ll take your car.’ Ianto threw one of his old sweatshirts over the top of his teeshirt. If you didn’t look closely he still looked like he always had.   
He was out the door within two minutes of the phone call. His mind was too busy to notice that he was no longer suffering from period pains.   
Twtwtwtwtwtwtw  
Branwyn Kathleen Jarvis was born at 12.13 am. Ianto Jones was there to welcome her to the world and cut the cord. Propelled through the door in an armlock by Captain Jack Harkness, Nigel (prat) Jarvis arrived at the birthing unit at 12.36. Deidre Kathleen Jarvis promptly brained him with a bed pan.  
Ianto kissed the fuzzy head of the bundle in his arms and passed her to her mother. He smiled at Jack, tired, physically exhausted from supporting Deidre and slightly fuzzy with emotion. ‘Take me home.’  
twtw  
‘That was just…’ Ianto waved his hands in the air trying to describe just what exactly it was. They were toasting the baby with whiskey and Ianto had already had quite a few. ‘I mean,’ he tried again, ‘I’m used to gross stuff. I mean I’m Torchwood, we specialise in gross stuff and believe me that was really gross.’ He pulled a face and burped. ‘Ew.’ Jack sniggered. ‘God, there was blood and muck and… and… stuff. But then,’ he paused and beamed at Jack, ‘then there was a baby.’  
Slightly tipsy himself Jack beamed back. He raised his glass, ‘Here’s to mothers. We can never thank them enough.’  
They drank. ‘To Deidre,’ Ianto said. They drank.  
‘Little what’s her name,’ Jack suggested.  
‘Branwyn.’ They drank again, Ianto going a bit gooey at the thought of the baby he’d held in his arms.  
‘Prat Nigel?’  
Ianto shuddered. ‘Hell no.’ He thought a moment. ‘To us, the great white knights riding to the rescue.’  
Jack thought that was an excellent toast. ‘To us.’ He drained his glass, put it down and took Ianto’s from his hand, pulling Ianto across the sofa and into his arms. They kissed, lazy and happy, Ianto draped across Jack.  
‘Shower?’ Jack suggested.  
‘Shower,’ Ianto agreed.  
‘Am I allowed to fuck you yet?’ Jack asked petulantly. After washing each other all over, and Jack did a very thorough job between Ianto’s legs (and Ianto knew that was for his benefit not Jack’s), Ianto leant forward, arm resting on his forearm against the tiles as Jack nuzzled and licked his spine and the back of his neck. Jack wrapped one arm around his waist while the other cupped his left breast. Ianto moaned and sank into the embrace, angling his hips to allow Jack access. ‘No condoms,’ he moaned. ‘Not tonight. Safe tonight.’  
‘Much better,’ Jack murmured in agreement, taking him from behind. It was both familiar and so different and right now he didn’t care. It was Jack fucking him, Jack’s balls slapping against him, Jack pounding and thrusting and moaning and it was good.  
Later in bed, (wearing knickers and a sanpad again) Ianto remembered what he’d been trying to say. ‘It was life,’ he whispered. ‘We deal with so much death but tonight…’ He felt a great burst of happiness in his chest. ‘Tonight I was there. I saw a new life.’


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torchwood can do life.

Later that week, as if to try and show that Torchwood did do life, it was just slightly skewed, they rescued a gravid shebear after its vehicle crashed in the bay. The shebear had been galaxies away, going about her daily business when the rift had grabbed her ship throwing it across space to earth’s gravitational field. The shebear was injured in the crash bringing on premature labour. Owen did everything he could and managed to save the infant but the mother died.   
The creatures were more or less mammalian. Owen found the closest match for milk for the baby to be commercial lamb milk powder. That was extremely fortunate as it was very easy to come by. Until then Ianto had imagined having to front up to Deirdre and asking her to express milk into a bottle. The creature was tiny, covered in a light green fur, underdeveloped and they kept it in a baby incubator sourced from the NHS. It was smaller than Gwen’s hand. The mother had been taller than Jack. Tosh and Jack frantically tried to get messages out to its home world. Ianto and Gwen loved it and coaxed it to feed. Owen autopsied its mother.  
The butterflies seemed to be breeding; at least three could be seen in the hub at once.  
On the day that Tosh announced that the sex change machine was now 50% charged a rescue mission arrived for the baby and Myfanwy laid an egg. Well she might have actually laid it any time in the last week because since the baby arrived Ianto had been too busy to climb up to her eerie to check up on her, even though he had noticed that she seemed off. He’d thought she might have been jealous of the attention being given to the baby. Now it seemed she had her own maternal preoccupations. ‘Oh girl,’ he breathed when he spotted what she was tenderly shielding between her feet, nudging with her beak. ‘What are we going to do about that?’  
He felt the tears he’d been holding back since handing over the baby well up. He sat on the edge of her lair listening to the odd clucking and ticking noises she was making and put his head in his hands. He was exhausted. The baby was so small it had needed feeding hourly, just an eyedropper full. He and Gwen had done turn about during the day and he and Jack had moved back into the hub temporarily for night duty. While Jack had done more than his turn, Ianto was still sleep deprived and emotional.  
‘The trouble is,’ he explained to the rest of the team once he’d got himself together and come back down, ‘we have no idea how long she’ll sit there trying to brood it. She hasn’t been out for days. She already looks skinny.’  
‘The local pet population will be grateful,’ Owen pointed out. ‘The trouble as I see it is, when it goes off it’s going to stink.’  
‘Alright,’ Jack flipped a pencil into the air catching it after three complete turns. ‘Someone find a surrogate egg. How big is the thing anyway?’  
‘Ostrich egg size,’ Ianto said morosely. He mainlined his coffee, he was using the industrial strength version, as much caffeine as he could squeeze out of the beans and bugger the taste.  
‘Well there you go, find an ostrich egg, fill it up with glue or something and swap them. No stink.’  
‘But what about the pterosaur?’ Gwen asked just before Ianto did. ‘She could spend months trying to incubate it. Who knows how long dinosaur eggs take to hatch.’ Gwen looked lightly tear stained after saying goodbye to Little Bear too Ianto noticed. In fact hiding his own tears had been part of the reason he’d climbed up to check on Myfanwy in the first place. ‘She’ll pine.’  
‘Oh for god sake,’ Owen muttered. ‘She’s a barely evolved life form.’  
‘Owen!’ Even Tosh was insulted by that.  
He rolled his eyes, ‘She’ll get over it.’  
‘Give her a week with a surrogate,’ Jack said, ‘then we’ll reassess.’ He huffed through his nose. ‘Okay, can we get on with real work now?’ He gave Gwen and Ianto a look. ‘You two, give me a coherent report on the Little Bear and append it to Owen’s medical notes. I want the whole thing over by tonight. Tosh, you’ve finished with the escape pod haven’t you?’  
‘No not yet, there’s quite a bit of tech in there I’m still trying to work out.’  
‘Okay, do that when you can. I need you to get on with that algorithm you started three weeks ago. That could be useful now.’  
Torchwood. Life moved on. And it wasn’t even lunchtime.  
Twtwtwtw  
Ianto fell asleep in his lunch. The only thing that stopped him from face planting into his curry was Owen grabbing a handful of his hair as he pitched forward. That woke him up a bit. Nearly a week of broken sleep and no chance to catch up were starting to tell. ‘Fuck it,’ he muttered as he pulled himself together.   
‘Ianto go home.’  
‘I…’  
‘Go home.’ Jack bent over him and kissed the top of his head. He whispered in his ear. ‘If you’re there I’ll have a reason to leave early.’  
‘I’m…’  
‘Not really safe to drive?’ Tosh suggested.  
Ianto huffed and put his hands on his hips. ‘She’s right,’ Jack said. ‘You’ve been waking up every hour to feed that little furball every hour for days. It’s not conducive to driving or safe work practise.’ He checked his watch. ‘Damn, Gwen can you drive Ianto home? I’ve got my weekly bear baiting with General Caldwell due in ten minutes.’  
‘I am not going home and leaving you to piss…’  
Jack lunged at Ianto and wrapped him in his coat. ‘Yes you are.’ He nodded at Gwen. ‘Take him away.’ Suddenly Ianto was too tired to argue.  
He dozed off in the car!  
‘You know, this is my fault,’ Gwen shook him awake outside his house. ‘I should have taken my turn at night.’  
Ianto just grimaced at her, too tired to argue.  
The trouble was that once he was inside his front door he was so wired on caffeine and so overtired he’d hit that stage where he couldn’t sleep. He turned on the tele and fidgeted on the sofa for a bit but all he kept seeing was Myfanwy snugging her egg between her feet.   
The thought of his pet thanklessly trying to hatch a chick was just so sad. And he was missing Li’l Bear too. He’d become quite fond of the tiny creature. Although, he reminded himself, it was now being cared for by those of its own kind, being fed the right sort of milk and its family might even be found. He’d never know. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind a mad idea was starting to form. He didn’t recognise or acknowledge it yet.  
Giving up on sleeping he put his shoes back on and went to visit the other baby that had won his heart. He was quite fond of the mother too.   
Deidre didn’t look particularly surprised to see him. She was looking well, all her health problems resolved with the birth of the child. She was still roundly proportioned but it suited her. She looked tired but not overwhelmed with it. Ianto had a much better understanding of that now.   
She let him in and lead the way into the lounge where she was folding washing, the baby lying bare arsed, kicking on a rug on the floor. Ianto dropped to his knees to burble at her, holding out a finger for her to hold and grinning and pulling faces. Branwyn made a round O of her mouth as though trying to work out what this mad individual was up to. Then she screwed up her face, pulled in her whole body and let out an ear splitting squall, arms and legs flailing.  
Deidre laughed. ‘Go put the kettle on,’ she said over the noise. The baby wound herself up to shrieks a fire engine would be proud of. Deidre picked her up, wrapping an old towel around her catching the thrashing limbs and the baby instantly stilled to muffled squawking. ‘She’s hungry is all.’ Deidre shoved aside the washing and settled into the armchair, pulling down the loose neck of her teeshirt. ‘Go and make us a cup of tea. There’s a love.’  
Ianto tried not to stare at Deidre’s suddenly exposed breast, the nipple huge and dark and leaking and hurried off to the kitchen to make tea. When he came out, mug in each hand a packet of sultana pasties under his arm Branwen had already finished one side and was sucking busily on the other, little fist clenching and unclenching against her mother’s skin in bliss. Ianto sighed, tears welling in his eyes at the sight. It was so beautiful. He sniffed and cursed himself for being overtired and emotional. ‘Here,’ he placed Deidre’s mug on the small table beside her, opened the biscuits and handed her three. ‘You need to keep up your strength.’  
‘You’re an angel.’ Deidre picked up her mug one handed. ‘I get really thirsty when I’m feeding. Not surprising I suppose.’ She smiled at him and at the baby in her arms. ‘You can have a cuddle in a minute. She’s nearly finished.’ She nodded towards the other arm chair, ‘Go on take a load off. You look absolutely done in. Is everything alright?’  
Ianto sat down with a sigh. ‘Just been really busy at work, not getting enough sleep, that sort of thing.’  
‘Changing sex?’ Deidre admirably kept her voice from rising on the question.  
‘Ahh… yeah.’  
‘Nice skirt,’ Deidre said kindly. ‘What? Did you think I was so baby addled I wasn’t going to notice?’  
Actually it was Ianto that was so baby addled that he’d forgotten to change his clothes before he came. ‘It’s complicated.’   
‘Of course it is pet. These things always are.’  
Ianto lay back in the chair and closed his eyes. ‘It’s a… a drug trial. I can go back… to me… in a while.’  
‘Are you happy?’  
‘I… I don’t know. I’m coping.’  
‘Here,’ he looked up. She was standing above him and dropped the now sleeping towel wrapped baby into his arms. ‘Hold madam. I’ll go find a clean nappy.’ The baby snuffled, milky, warm and completely relaxed, moulding into his chest. Her round little bottom fit into his palm. He brushed his nose through the soft fuzzy hair on her head.  
By the time Deidre came back he was nearly asleep. ‘You daft moo,’ she said fondly. ‘I know you’re Torchwood. That shiny bloody car gives it away. Funny things happen to you lot. Here,’ she took the baby, rapidly exchanged towel for nappy and handed her back to Ianto. He cuddled her close.  
‘I really am female,’ he said. ‘For a while.’ He kissed Branwyn. ‘I could have a baby.’  
‘Do you want to?’  
He closed his eyes again. ‘I…’ he didn’t know how to answer. Something was churning, pulling inside him, a yearning. He wanted… something. ‘I don’t know.’ He felt Deidre lean over and kiss the top of his head. ‘Stay there,’ she said pulling a throw rug over him and Branwyn. ‘Have a sleep. You don’t have to decide today.’


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationship angst. Now we’re getting down to it. ‘God,’ Ianto was infuriated. ‘Why can’t you give a straight answer to anything?

Several days later Ianto was finally sure of his feelings. It took him several more days to work up the courage to broach the subject with Jack. ‘Jack, we need to talk.’  
‘Huh?’ Jack looked up from the large scale map of Cardiff he had spread across the breakfast table. He picked up a pen and crunched the end of it then looked at it in surprise. He hurriedly put it down and picked up his piece of toast instead.  
‘I mean… Not…’ Suddenly even the thought of voicing his odd thought seemed ridiculous. ‘Don’t worry. It’s not serious.’   
Jack made a buttery mark on his map and nodded vaguely.   
‘Never mind.’ Ianto frantically backpedalled. Maybe he wasn’t sure. What was the point of stirring things up? ‘What are you doing there anyway?’  
‘I think the arms of the rift are moving. We always used to get little odd events near Penarth and over here in Splott. Now it’s more,’ he waved his toast, ‘it’s like the whole thing’s shifted counterclockwise.’ He looked up and saw something in Ianto’s face. ‘What? Were you going to say something?’  
Somehow it was now or never. ‘Have you moved in with me?’  
Jack looked at him completely bemused. He looked at the toast in his hand and back to Ianto. He looked around the kitchen. His finger tapped, Ianto was amused to see, at the spot that represented this address on the map. ‘I’m here aren’t I?’  
‘God,’ Ianto was infuriated. ‘Why can’t you give a straight answer to anything?’  
‘Ianto. What’s this about?’  
‘Have you Jack, easy question, moved in with me?’  
Jack’s eyes were wide and uneasy. ‘Do you want me to have?’  
‘Answer the fucking question.’  
‘I have,’ Jack seemed to be waiting to see if that was the right answer, ‘if you want me to? Do you want me to move out?’ He dropped back into his chair.  
‘You can’t move out if you never moved in can you?’  
Jack went pale. ‘Do you want me to go?’ His voice had dropped to a whisper.  
‘No!’ Ianto couldn’t get over how dense he could be at times. ‘I want,’ he tried not to shout, ‘to know,’ he was breathing hard, ‘have you moved in with me? Are we a couple or a something? Do we mean something to each other? Is it permanent? I want to know?’  
‘I… Ianto…’ Jack was suddenly across the floor holding his hands. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say?’ There was fear in his eyes and Ianto was suddenly terribly afraid himself. Jack didn’t like being labelled, or being pushed. He’d read this all wrong, being here was just convenient for Jack. It didn’t mean anything. He should have kept his mouth shut, not rocked the boat and just accepted whatever this was as enough. He was doing exactly what he’d been afraid of, scaring Jack off.  
He sighed. ‘Never mind.’ He fought to hold his voice steady. ‘What were you saying about the rift?’  
‘Ianto.’ Jack was kneading his fingers. ‘Don’t you want me here?’ His lip trembled. Ianto realised that Jack was as terrified as he was. But of what? ‘Do you want me to go? I can go back to the hub. We could still see each other. You could stay over sometimes… if you wanted…’  
‘God Jack.’ He was infuriating. ‘No. I want you here. I just wanted to know that you wanted to be here.’  
‘Oh.’ Jack took some gasping breaths. ‘Of course I do. I do.’  
‘So we’re together yeah? A couple?’  
‘I hate that word.’   
‘Whatever. You’re with me. You’re my partner. Yes?’  
‘Do I have to give it a name?’ He saw Ianto’s look. ‘Okay.’ He held up his hands. ‘It can be anything you want. I don’t care what you call it. What do you want? I’ll be your partner. I’ll be your wife.’  
It suddenly came blurting out. Ianto hadn’t meant to approach things like this but now he’d got this far... ‘I want you to be the father of my child. That’s what I want.’  
‘What?’ Jack stood there pole axed and now he’d blurted it out Ianto didn’t know what to say either. There was silence for a very long moment. ‘Did you just say you’re having a baby?’  
‘Not quite.’ Ianto scrubbed his hands through his hair and when he dropped them they came to rest on his hips, his new wider hips.  
‘Ianto,’ Jack looked at him like he was going to explode. ‘Come here.’ He reached for his hand and pulled him over to the table sitting them both down, knees together, close. ‘What’s going on?’  
Ianto tried to pull himself together. ‘I’m not asking your permission to have a baby. That’s my choice.’  
Jack’s eyes never left his. ‘Okaay.’ Then he blinked. ‘Hang on. I’m confused. You were worried about whether I’ve moved in and now we’re talking about having children? I think I’ve missed something.’  
‘After Lisa…’ Ianto felt he might be sick, there was so much at stake here. This was going to be the biggest most important decision he was ever going to make and suddenly he wished he hadn’t started any of this. ‘I’d pretty much given up with the thought of ever having children of my own.’ Jack’s face was sympathetic and showing dawning comprehension. ‘This,’ Ianto indicated his body, ‘this is an amazing chance. I could have a baby. My own baby.’ He snorted. ‘I never imagined a child of my own would be one I gave birth to, but it’s an opportunity I think I should take. I don’t care whether I can stay working for Torchwood or not. I don’t even care if you don’t want to be the father. I would have a child. A baby. Of my own.’ His eyes were filling with tears and Jack still wasn’t saying anything.   
Jack’s breathing was irregular. ‘You want to stay a woman and have a baby?’  
‘Yes. Yes I do.’  
‘With or without me? This is your hormones speaking. You know that? Your woman’s hormones.’ Jack was up and pacing the room.  
‘Maybe. Probably.’ Ianto was incensed. ‘I still want it. It’s my feelings.’ Saying it made it so. ‘I want to have a baby.’  
‘Try to have a baby. It’s not guaranteed.’  
‘Alright. Try to have a baby.’  
‘You’re not pregnant now are you?’  
‘No.’  
‘Fuck!’ Jack stopped dead, hand yanking on his hair. ‘This isn’t Ianto the man speaking. This isn’t you.’  
That was so insulting. ‘This is me. This is me now and I want this. I want this so much.’  
Jack shook his head slowly, like an angry bear. ‘Get dressed. We’re late for work.’


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More relationship angst and some secrets revealed. ‘I was nearly a father once. I was so happy.’ Jack looked at him, eyes wide. ‘What happened?’

They rode into work in a bitter silence. Ianto had been tempted to let Jack take his car and walk, but that would have been stupid. Ianto didn’t even make it into the hub proper, just took the side turning into the cells and began the morning mucking out. He went from there to the archives burying himself in his systematic recataloguing of the whole system that he expected never to complete. He didn’t come out to make coffee although that was potentially going to cause him more trouble than the little bit of peace it offered him was worth.  
When he did appear just before lunch time, noting half a dozen butterflies flitting around the light from the monitors, it was to find Owen spitting in his face. ‘Oi. Ianto. That god damn leather bird dropped her bloody egg out of her nest and nearly brained me. I’ve left it for you to clean up.’  
Ianto looked up in surprise. ‘What?’ but the evidence was right there. Shattered shell and what was obviously the contents of a large egg were spattered all over the stone lift platform and the area around it. He looked up but there was no sign of the pteradon. There was an ache in his chest. ‘She broke her egg?’  
‘Yeah. Damn thing just fell out of the sky like a bomb.’  
‘Why?’ He blinked. There were butterflies flickering throughout the hub like spots before his eyes.  
‘Maybe she knew it wasn’t fertile. Who knows? She’s a leather bird.’ Owen grabbed at Ianto’s arm. ‘And who cares. Anyway, you’re coming with me. Jack wants you checked over. He’s been in a foul mood all morning. Trouble in paradise?’  
He wrenched his hand back. ‘Fuck off.’  
‘No mate.’ Owen suddenly flipped the switch that turned him from prat to professional. ‘I want to see you. I haven’t checked you over for weeks and with your “new” body,’ he made dit dit marks, ‘I should be keeping an eye on you. Come on.’  
Ianto came. It was too much effort not to.  
Owen however once he had him on his table seemed bored, taking blood pressure, temperature and pulse, peering in his eyes and listening to his chest but he didn’t seem too interested in the proceedings.  
‘I suppose you’re going to ask me to pee into a cup?’ Ianto asked.  
‘What, because it’s harder to do when you haven’t got a cock? Yeah, well,’ Owen pretended to consider it. ‘In the interests of thoroughness I should. Hang on, I’ll find a specimen container.’  
‘Owen!’  
‘Nah mate. Not unless you’ve got a UTI. Does it burn when you pee? Do you think you’ve got a UTI?’  
‘No.’  
‘Well then, not really necessary. Roll up your sleeve though. I will take some blood.’  
Ianto did as he was told, it was only as he saw the blood filling the vial, thick and red, that he thought to question it. ‘If you don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, why are you taking blood?’  
‘Jack wanted me to.’ He grabbed Ianto’s arm to hold it still. ‘He thinks your hormones are out.’  
‘What!’ Ianto was incensed. ‘The arrogant interfering git.’ As soon as Owen had withdrawn the needle from his arm he was up and heading for Jack’s office. As he crested the autopsy bay stairs he was gobsmacked to see Jack half way across the hub hurrying for the door. Jack turned, caught sight of him and broke into a run. ‘Jack!’   
Jack was through the gap as soon as the cog door was wide enough and Ianto charged after him. ‘Come back here you bastard.’ Jack had taken the lift so Ianto raced up the stairs not quite managing to cut him off at the pass. Hauling in painful lungfuls of air, it was a long way up those stairs, he grabbed at the outside tourist office door as Jack was pulling it shut. He wrenched it back open, got a handful of Jack’s shirt. ‘You fucker!’   
Jack had the advantage of not being short of breath. He flung him up against the wall, arm pressed into his neck. ‘Shut up!’ Jack roared. ‘You don’t get to talk. Not yet.’ He grabbed his arm and frog marched him down the pier while Ianto twisted and tried to kick at him with his sensible shoes.  
Jack stopped at the third bollard past the jetty and shook him. ‘Stop it.’ Ianto took stock of where they were. Oh. Camera black spot. He stopped thrashing and stood back as Jack let him go, straightening his blouse and smoothing himself down. ‘What?’  
‘I didn’t thing you wanted the others watching in on our domestic, that’s all.’  
‘Our domestic?’ Ianto felt his eyebrows crawl up under his hair. ‘Is that what this is? A domestic?’  
‘Well yeah, isn’t it? You’re pissed because I wanted Owen to check your hormone levels. It’s about you and me. That’s a domestic. Isn’t it?’  
Ianto’s emotions were swirling but the overriding one was still anger. ‘You’re being a prick.’  
‘And you’re acting hormonal.’  
‘What, because this morning I asked if we were a couple?’  
‘And wanted to have my baby.’ There was sadness mixed with fondness in Jack’s eyes.  
‘So my hormones must be wrong?’  
‘Not wrong. Just different.’ Jack sighed and sat down, legs hanging over the water. He patted the dock beside him. ‘Sit down Ianto.’  
Grinding his teeth Ianto sat.   
Jack leaned in towards him, nose against his neck and sniffed.   
Ianto resisted the urge to slap him. ‘What?’  
‘You smell wrong. No, not wrong,’ he corrected himself, ‘just different, just a little. I’ve been noticing for a few days. It’s subtle, but then this morning I wondered…’  
‘If my female hormones made me say that?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘And what’s wrong with that?’  
‘Oh come on.’ Jack looked at him like he was an imbecile. ‘If this hadn’t happened, if you hadn’t turned into a woman, would you want to be having a baby?’  
‘I don’t know. I can’t answer that. Maybe I wouldn’t, maybe I would. The fact is, I have changed and it is an amazing opportunity.’ Ianto automatically leaned into Jack as the fight left him. ‘I have thought about having a child before you know. I…’ tears welled, ‘I thought once…’ He swallowed and licked his lips. This was the last of his secrets and it felt odd to be letting it go. ‘I was nearly a father once. I was so happy.’  
Jack looked at him, eyes wide. ‘What happened?’  
Ianto closed his eyes and leaned close. ‘It was Lisa Jack. Lisa was pregnant when… when…’ He choked. Jack’s hold on him tightened and he felt Jack bury his face in his hair. They sat still and quiet as Ianto tried to gain control of himself, his chest shuddering with something that wasn’t sobs but more like his heart trying to regain rhythm. ‘Did you not know?’ he asked finally. ‘I thought the autopsy…’  
‘She wasn’t autopsied.’ Jack’s voice was choked too. ‘I… got rid of it… of her. That night. In the incinerator.’ His hand spasmed on Ianto’s arm. ‘I couldn’t chance that any of it… any of the tech…’  
‘I understand.’ And Ianto did. His world had changed exponentially since then. He understood now. It still hurt, Lisa’s loss a huge aching hole in his life. ‘The baby was long dead by then.’ He was surprised by how calm his voice sounded even as tears tracked down his face. ‘I did a sonogram after I got her into the hub. There was no sign of life. No heart beat. I… I hoped it was because the metal interfered with the instrument but I knew it wasn’t. ’ Now his voice broke, ‘I never told Lisa.’  
‘God Ianto,’ Jack’s voice was bleak, ‘I had no idea.’  
They clung together, completely oblivious to the world going about its business around them. Pedr who ran the Bay Explorer boat from the jetty they were sitting beside was used to the comings and goings of the five from the “tourist office”. He knew damn well it wasn’t really a tourist office but he was happy to play along with the charade. He hadn’t quite worked out why that spot on the pier, just there was so popular with them all either, but again, it wasn’t worrying him so he left well alone. He had a tour going in fifteen minutes though and the customers would start coming along the walkway soon, heading for his jetty. These two lads were obviously in the middle of something deep and emotional. It was a bit sad, the way the young one had started coming to work dressed as a lass. He must be one of them trans whatsits. Pedr should probably have guessed from his uptight suits. No real man dressed like that did he? Poor kid, must be a bit hard trying to be something he’s not. After a moment’s thought Pedr headed up onto the Plass. He’d corral his clients there and lead them down to the jetty by the other route.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has secrets too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m using a family tree here that sort of resembles my version of Jack’s family tree per my Family History series, but it doesn’t quite fit and doesn’t really matter. Just if some of the names seem familiar to you, that’s where you’ve heard them before.

The tourist boat pulled away from the jetty in a growl of marine engines. Jack looked up, eyes fixed on the churning water. He kept his grip on Ianto tight. ‘I need to tell you something,’ he said quietly, privately.  
‘Mmm?’ Ianto didn’t lift his head.  
Jack wasn’t quite sure how he’d got to the position of being able to tell anyone this stuff. ‘I have children.’  
‘I know,’ Ianto said and Jack jerked, surprised and yet not. Of course Ianto knew. ‘Peter and Amanda Harkness, born in the twenties,’ Ianto started, ‘Nancy Barnes, born 1953, her “cousin” Polly Agnew, also born 1953,’ and Jack could feel the smile on Ianto’s face against his shirt, and Melissa Moretti, born 1975, known later as Alice Sangster and now Alice Carter. You have…’  
‘Six,’ Jack said.  
‘Huh?’  
‘I have six children.’ Ianto looked up then. ‘I have six children,’ Jack said. ‘I have another daughter, Lyndel, born before I… before I joined the Time Agency.’ He snorted, ‘She won’t be born for another three thousand years.’ Ianto squeezed his hand. Jack took a deep breath. ‘There’s one more thing.’  
‘I know,’ Ianto looked up at him then, his face tear stained but calmer. ‘I know,’ he said again. There was the hint of a smile on his mouth.  
‘Know about what exactly?’ God Ianto could have learnt anything. What exactly was he referring to?  
A full smile appeared on Ianto’s face. ‘I know that you have fourteen grandchildren, one Alice’s son Steven is seven years old and you visit at least once a month. I know you have thirty nine great grandchildren and three great greats. And I know about your great granddaughter Gwen Cooper.’   
Jack felt the breath rush out of him.  
‘Was that what you were going to tell me?’  
‘You are amazing.’ He grabbed Ianto’s head in his hands eyes boring into his, swimming with emotion. ‘Ianto Jones you are…’ he didn’t know how to finish that sentence so he didn’t, he kissed him instead.  
They finally pulled away to breath, foreheads close together, breath coming in panting gulps. ‘Are we all right?’ Ianto asked tentatively.  
‘Yes,’ Jack said emphatically. ‘Yes we’re all right.’ He put his finger over Ianto’s lips to stop him saying anything more. ‘Yes, I’ve moved in with you. Yes we’re a couple and yes,’ he dropped another quick kiss on Ianto’s lips, ‘Yes I would like to have a baby with you.’ He felt Ianto stiffen and cut him off before he could speak again, ‘But first I want to be sure that that is what you really want. I’m terrified that you’ll be four months gone and you’ll suddenly realise what you’ve done and wonder why no one stopped you.’ He kept his finger over Ianto’s mouth. ‘All right? We don’t jump into it. There’s no hurry. I want to talk about this some more. Okay?’  
Ianto nodded. ‘Okay,’ he whispered.  
They sat side by side, still and close, feet swinging over the water. ‘My bum’s gone numb,’ Ianto said eventually.  
‘Yeah, mine too.’  
Together they clambered up, helping each other, both turning towards each other for another hug once they were upright. They swayed together, nearly dancing for a few more minutes. ‘We should get back to work,’ Ianto said. ‘We’ve been wasting a lot of time over my issues lately.’  
Jack laughed, fond and happy. ‘Issues huh? That’s one way to put it.’ Holding hands they walked back towards the tourist office. ‘That’s something else we’d have to look at, if you did have a baby. How long would you work, getting a replacement? I mean Torchwood doesn’t exactly have a maternity policy.’  
‘There’s a lot of things we’d have to look at.’ Ianto halted them before they moved inside. ‘It’s all right Jack. I haven’t made up my mind, not yet, but I did want to look at it. I feel it’s the right thing to do.’  
‘That’s not the way it sounded this morning. You weren’t asking my permission if I understood you then. You were just asking if I wanted to be part of it.’  
‘I was angry. And I did feel like that.’  
‘Did?’ Jack grinned.  
‘Yes, Did.’ Ianto smiled too. ‘That was before I realised that there was only one person I could imagine being the father.’  
‘Jeeze Ianto,’ Jack wacked him on the arm, ‘you’re making me soppy. Come on, we need to go and do some work.’ He opened the door and a swarm of copper blue butterflies flooded out. ‘Shit.’ They ducked as they flowed out and over their heads, their wings alternating brilliant purple with a bright copper orange as the light struck them. There was so many they created a breeze. It was both gorgeous and wrong for urban Cardiff. ‘Where did those come from?’ The butterflies dispersed like confetti in the wind. ‘These things are getting out of hand.’


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owen and Tosh have built a new piece of tech – out of nanogenes and an old photocopier.

Back in the hub everyone was clustered in the autopsy room. A larger than life display of a woman’s body showed translucent, projected onto the white tile wall. The image was rotating slowly and Owen’s voice was giving a one handed commentary, his other arm still in a sling, pointing out systems and organs that showed darker than the main outline. It became apparent that it was no random generic woman they were looking at but a facsimile of Tosh and as they looked down they could see that she had her hand on what looked like the scanning bed of a photocopier. Owen noticed them looking and stopped his graphic description of the state of Tosh’s digestive tract. ‘Yes,’ he beamed at them. ‘Fresh meat. Jack, Ianto, step right this way.’   
Tosh took her hand off the copier and her image disappeared from the wall. She smiled up at them. ‘We did it,’ she said proudly. ‘Owen and I,’ the way she looked at Owen when she said that nearly broke Ianto’s heart, ‘built this scanner using those alien nanobots…’  
‘And an old photocopier,’ Owen broke in, a wide and unfamiliar smile covering his face, ‘and it’s just brilliant. Here, Tosh, show them.’  
Tosh put her hand back on the plate. The scanning mechanism moved up the length of the plate, exactly like a photocopier, and her image appeared once again projected on the wall, just a generalised body shape, no other details. It was definitely Tosh though, there was no mistaking the profile. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘Owen just needs to…’ but Owen was already busy at his key board tapping awkwardly with one hand. ‘I put in the right parameters, so here,’ and Tosh’s skeleton appeared overlaid on her silhouette, ‘the skeletal system. And here the soft tissues and organs,’ and the image looked pretty much as it had before. ‘I can narrow it down,’ the image didn’t change, ‘to show parasitic invasions, signs of illness and the like. But, ‘he beamed at Tosh, ‘Tosh is in perfect health. Oh here,’ suddenly some darker spots appeared on her teeth, ‘you have got fillings. Isn’t it brilliant? Come on Gwen, you try it.’  
Jack and Ianto moved down into the bay as Gwen took Tosh’s place. Jack clapped Owen on the shoulder, brushed a hand across Tosh’s cheek. ‘Well done you two.’  
This uncharacteristically happy Owen was a little bit creepy.  
Gwen took Tosh’s place and her silhouette appeared on the wall. Owen ran through all his parameters and pronounced her healthy too. ‘Right,’ he said cheerfully, ‘Ianto, your turn.’  
All of a sudden Ianto could feel something in the air, an anticipation, but not a nice one from Owen and the girls. It was like being the “volunteer” chosen to wait outside while the rest of the cub scouts set up a skit and you just knew that when you came back in the chair you were going to have to sit on would be wet, or the lid you had to lift on the table would have something nasty under it, or some other embarrassing thing was going to happen and everyone was going to laugh at you while you pretended you really didn’t mind and it was actually a funny joke.   
Ianto realised he was actually afraid to put his hand on the scanner. ‘This is some joke isn’t it?’ Owen was far too cheerful for it to be anything else. ‘This is some elaborate set up and you’ve made the scans on the computer and when I touch the thing, and it is actually only a photocopier without a lid, you’ve got it set up to give me an electric shock or something.’  
Owen was staring at him, open mouthed. ‘Jeeze Ianto, paranoid much?’ He slapped his hand on the plate and without appearing to touch anything else the scanner moved up the plate and his image appeared on the wall. The flesh around the injuries on his arm showed denser. He didn’t even look, just glared at Ianto. He took his hand off. The image disappeared. He indicated the scanner. ‘Your turn.’  
And that feeling was there again. He moved closer. He didn’t have to put his hand on it of course, but he was feeling ridiculous about not wanting to. Maybe Owen had found out that his woman’s parts were in the wrong places or something. He put out his hand.  
Jack grabbed his wrist. ‘Ianto don’t.’  
Everybody looked at Jack, but Jack’s eyes were boring into Owen. Without looking at anyone else Jack ordered, ‘Girls out. Go buy some shoes or something but don’t come back for a while.’ They both opened their mouths as if they were going to protest, then looked at each other and changed their minds. Jack’s hand moved from his wrist until he was holding Ianto’s hand and they waited. Ianto concentrated on staying calm and casual while his heart pounded irregularly in his chest. He had no doubt that he would find out what this was about soon, but he was starting to feel very anxious. Everybody seemed to know something that he didn’t. Jack stared at Owen and no one moved or spoke until the sounds of the girls collecting their handbags and finally the cog door closing behind them showed they had gone.  
‘Right,’ Jack said letting out a slow breath. ‘Badly played Owen. Not nice. Not nice at all.’  
‘Oh come on Jack. It would have been a brilliant reveal. And besides,’ his cocky smirk was forced, ‘you know I don’t do nice.’  
‘Excuse me, Hello.’ Ianto had just about had enough. ‘What the fuck is going on?’  
Jack gave him a tender smile and it scared the shit out of him. Jack guided his hand over the machine. ‘Put your hand on it. Let’s see how good it really is.’  
‘Jack?’ Ianto’s heart was beating flat out and he had no idea why. Tentatively he reached out and put his hand on the glass. It was quite warm and once the wand underneath started moving he could feel a staticky buzz against his palm, but nothing uncomfortable. His image appeared on the wall, and just for a moment he was disconcerted because it was his new body with the somewhat boxy womanly shape and for some reason he wasn’t expecting that. Jack took hold of his free hand and a vague ghostly image of Jack appeared on the wall beside him. The thing was good.  
The image was only a silhouette. ‘Owen,’ Jack ordered quietly.   
‘Okay,’ Owen’s fingers tapped at his keyboard and the image illuminated his internal organs, heart, lungs, liver, digestive tract. That must be womb and ovaries, smaller and lower than he was expecting, bladder shown overlapping. He wasn’t sure if it was in front or behind. Owen tapped again and a small dot off centre in his womb glowed brighter. Jack sighed.  
Ianto looked at the screen, felt Jack’s hand tighten its grip. He wanted to reach for his stomach, to feel if there was anything there but he didn’t have any spare hands.   
‘I knew from your bloods,’ Owen said softly.   
Ianto was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on, even as his mind stuttered with a thought. ‘What?’  
‘Ianto mate,’ Owen said gently. ‘I don’t want you to panic, but you’re pregnant.’


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Ianto mate. I don’t want you to panic, but you’re pregnant.’ Ianto’s reaction to the news.

Gobsmacked was not actually the right word to describe what Ianto felt when he heard that. Neither was pole axed or stunned or… or… Ianto didn’t know what the right word was but his body felt disconnected from his brain. He stared at the little red dot going round and round with the outline of his body on the wall and was aware that his mouth was hanging open and there was a roaring in his ears. He let his hand drop from the scanner, the image disappeared and the spell was broken. Jack and Owen were staring at him.  
‘How?’ he croaked.  
‘Well,’ Owen smirked but it was forced. ‘When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…’  
Jack whacked him on the side of his head, which was just as well because Ianto was about hit him much harder. ‘We’ve been using protection.’  
‘Well,’ Owen said, back in doctor mode. ‘Condoms aren’t one hundred percent perfect you know.’  
‘The night Deidre’s baby was born,’ Jack said, taking Ianto’s hand and stopping his pacing. ‘You had your period. We thought it was safe.’  
Owen face contorted as he attempted not to look at them like they were idiots. It didn’t work very well. ‘That was about three weeks ago, right?’  
Ianto nodded. His face flushed with embarrassment. Owen fiddled with his computers, figures scrolled and he nodded. ‘That’s about right. The machine says 19 days since conception.’ He hit another key and laughed. ‘Which makes you due December 25.’ He laughed like a drain. ‘A Christmas baby.’  
Ianto and Jack both groaned. Ianto realised Jack was still holding his hand when he pulled him around to face him. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked gently. ‘This is what you wanted. Isn’t it?’  
‘I…’ Ianto pulled his face into a smile. ‘Yes,’ he said emphatically. ‘Yes it is. I just thought… I had no idea…’ He rubbed his flat belly.  
Jack ran a gentle hand down his cheek. ‘Congratulations.’ He pulled him in for a hug. Ianto stood against him, awkward, rigid, once again overwhelmed by events. It seemed vaguely cruel of fate to rob him of the chance to make the decision for himself. Twenty minutes ago he’d been arguing vehemently to be allowed to do this. Now… it was real. ‘Do the girls know?’ he asked Owen.  
‘Er,’ Owen looked embarrassed. ‘They do. Yeah.’  
‘Fuck.’ Massive loss of dignity coming up then. ‘Jack, I think I’m having some more of those issues. I’m going out for a while.’ He drew himself up and did his best Captain Oates impression. ‘I may be some time.’  
It was ruined by Jack grabbing his sleeve. ‘Hang on, I’ll come with you.’  
Fuck. ‘No. Don’t!’ He gave Jack what he hoped was an apologetic look but really he just wanted out before he exploded, or hit Owen. ‘I’m all right, really. I just…’ Jack followed him up in the lift, looking like a puppy that had been left behind as Ianto collected his coat and keys. ‘I’m going to go walk along a beach or something. I’m all right really.’ He pulled his hand away from where he was unconsciously cupping his lower belly. He gave Jack a kiss. ‘I’ll see you at home later. It’s all right. Truly.’  
Only it wasn’t Ianto discovered when he’d gotten far enough away from the hub to feel able to let go of his mask. He stopped the car somewhere in Tremorfa when he had to stop driving before he ran into something. He was trembling violently, had no idea where he was going, other than somewhere the others wouldn’t look for him and suddenly couldn’t stop the torrent of swear words that were cascading out of his mouth. It was pouring with rain. He got out of the car and started to walk, his body needing action and movement. He walked, wringing wet and swearing, aware that he was probably having a breakdown of sorts but not caring.   
He was pregnant. Up the duff, bun in the oven. Expecting. He’d really gone and done it now. He kept striding up the road in his sensible shoes, skirt plastered to his legs, water running down his face, swearing and muttering. He didn’t have to worry about avoiding the odd pedestrian and their umbrellas, they saw him coming and got out of the way, a mad scary woman striding through the rain and talking to herself.  
That was it then wasn’t it? He was committed. He had to stay this way for at least another nine months. He’d thought he was okay with that, now suddenly, feeling his tights squeaking wet between his thighs he wasn’t quite so sure. Nine months and for a lot of that time he’d be the size of a house. He wasn’t attractive now, what would Jack think of him then? Okay, that was just stupid, he realised he shouldn’t be thinking about things like that. Jack wasn’t that shallow, but Jack had just declared he wanted to live with him; he couldn’t take the risk of scaring him off.  
He strode on, passing out of suburbia and into an industrial estate. The gutters here were blocked, water was flowing across the road in places. Trucks raced through regardless, creating bow waves and huge splashes. He shouldn’t be thinking about Jack, he should be thinking about himself, about the baby. His hand cradled his belly. There was a baby, all right, technically it was only a fetus, but it was a baby, there was a baby, inside him, right now, growing. He felt a deep tenderness, a… feeling of love, for the tiny speck inside him. There was a baby in there that he and Jack had made. A little bit of both of them. It was overwhelming really.  
He became aware that there was a car driving just behind him, shadowing him. Jack. He turned ready to give him hell for following him, tell him off for invading his privacy and reassure him that in spite of tearing through the rain like he was demented, he was fine really, only it wasn’t Jack.  
‘Ma’am?’ said a young police woman leaning across to speak through the passenger window as the squad car drew level. ‘Are you all right?’  
‘Yes, thank you. I’m fine.’  
‘Only you left your car in the middle of the street with the door open and the engine running.’ Ianto gaped at her. He hadn’t. Had he? ‘And since then you’ve walked nearly three miles in the pouring rain with no coat or hat. Well it doesn’t seem normal does it?’ Ianto had to admit it certainly didn’t seem normal but he wasn’t going to say that. ‘Look,’ the girl continued, ‘why don’t you get in the car and we can give your husband a call.’  
Ianto bit back the urge to break into hysterical laughter. How much more surreal could this day get, but he opened the passenger door and got into the car. It would be good to be out of the rain. It wasn’t until he felt the warmth inside the vehicle that he realised how cold he was. The officer was talking into her radio. ‘Yes, I’ve got her. She’s compliant. Just got into my car. Wet as a fish but otherwise seems all right. I’ll head back to the vehicle.’  
‘Roger that,’ dispatch told her. ‘The husband will meet you there.’  
‘Husband?’ Ianto asked as the girl indicated to do a U turn and head back the way they’d come.   
‘Yes. He called us. Said you’d rung and said you’d had an accident and that you weren’t answering your phone anymore. Asked us to keep a look out.’ She smiled, ‘He’s worried about you.’  
His phone hadn’t rung the whole time. If Jack was panicking because he was following the GPS trace on the car and it stopped in the middle of a street, surely he’d have phoned Ianto rather than the police. Belatedly he realised that he had no pockets in these clothes. His phone was in his handbag back in the car. ‘He said you’d had an accident,’ the officer said kindly. ‘Did you skid in the wet? The car looks all right. Bit silly to walk away and leave it like that though.’ She was fishing Ianto could tell. ‘Is everything all right?’  
Why not tell her?  
‘I just found out I’m pregnant,’ he said. ‘I’m a bit freaked.’  
‘Ooo,’ she said with barely hidden glee, delighted to be able to gossip. She was so like Gwen. ‘Is it your husband’s? Does he know?’  
‘He’s not my husband.’  
‘Oh. He said he was.’  
‘I bet he did.’  
‘Don’t you want it? The baby?’ She looked at him with eyes brimming with sympathy. ‘You don’t have to have it you know. Don’t let him bully you into it if you don’t want to.’ Her hand patted his soggy shoulder. ‘It’s your body and your life.’  
Ianto felt all the breath leave his body. The wiper on his side missed the bottom of the window. That thought had never occurred to him. Not once.  
His car was now parked straddling the kerb, presumably moved so it wouldn’t block the road. He couldn’t believe he’d just stopped in the middle of the road and got out and left it. The SUV was parked in front of it and the police woman pulled in behind. ‘Here you are,’ she said kindly. A figure climbed out of the black vehicle, coat pulled awkwardly up over his head in an attempt to keep the rain off. He was holding a towel. ‘That’s him,’ she said.  
Not who he’d expected to see. ‘My boyfriend,’ Ianto told her. ‘He’s only just moved in. I’m not ready for this.’ Then Owen was hauling his door open and pulling him out. He shoved the towel at him, leant down and smiled at the policewoman. ‘Thanks for finding her,’ he growled. ‘I’ll take her from here.’  
‘Not so fast.’ Ianto was quite impressed with her response. She leapt out, not afraid to get wet herself. She grabbed for Ianto’s arm and pulled him aside. ‘Do you want to go with him? Is this all right.’  
Ianto was tired. He just wanted to go home. ‘Yes honestly. Thank you.’ His life was fucked up and Doctor Dreadful was looking out for him. ‘I’m all right now. I just freaked out for a minute but I’m fine now thanks.’  
She looked at him hard and then nodded. Then she handed him her card. ‘If you ever need to talk, to vent or…’ she shrugged ‘… whatever.’  
‘Thanks, I will.’ Then Owen was dragging him to the SUV and shoving him through the passenger door. ‘Are you over it?’ he asked. ‘Cause there’s a Hoix hoovering its way through the leftovers in the bin by the Chinese around the corner.’ He climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. ‘I thought that’s why you must have stopped, that you’d seen it.’ He graunched the vehicle into gear, awkward with his sore arm. ‘Couldn’t believe it when I saw you on the monitors wandering off in the other direction.’ He spun the vehicle around the corner and there, yes indeed was a Hoix looking rather the worse for wear snarfling through the bins. ‘After the last one I really don’t fancy rounding it up on my own.’  
‘Where’s Jack?’  
‘Jack sodded off. Took off to have his own breakdown or freak out or whatever you want to call it in the one hundred and eighty degree opposite direction to you.’ Owen reached across and opened the weapons locker. ‘At least he had the decency to take his own car and not the SUV. Jack’s probably half way to Barry by now, the way he drives.’ Ianto pulled out two stun guns while Owen grabbed two revolvers. And the girls, Ianto realised, were probably still out somewhere looking at shoes.  
Another day in Torchwood.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at Torchwood. Rabid Hoix need dealing to regardless of injuries or pregnancy.

Ianto tamped down his worry about Jack and stuck the gun Owen handed him in his waist band. He kept hold of the stun gun. Owen had parked diagonally, effectively blocking the creature’s escape back down the alley and they climbed out into the rain. Owen wasn’t completely disabled by his injured arm, but he wasn’t going to be up to wrestling the large and disgruntled alien. This had the potential to end badly.  
Ianto started to move to the left, Owen going right, flanking the beast. It was a while since they’d worked together, just the two of them but he and Owen had been a well practised team once. The alien barely seemed aware of them, eating its way through the rubbish. Hoix were usually easy to wrangle, they could be bribed with food, too stupid to recognise a trap. This one however, for all that it was foraging from the bins… something about its gait, its lack of awareness of them was worrying. Ianto picked up a piece of an old metal chair and banged it on the bin. It clanged and the creature looked up. Its eyeballs were completely red.  
‘Bloody hell,’ Owen breathed. ‘There’s something wrong with this one too.’ He grabbed Ianto’s arm, ‘Stay back. Jack’ll kill me if something happens to you. Cover me, just in case. If it looks like it’s going to bite,’ he shuddered, ‘shoot it.’  
‘No fucking way. You’ve only got one arm,’ and the two of them moved together. The plan, if there was one was to get close enough to stun it, then they could get it in the SUV and back to the hub. But Owen was scared of it. Hell, Ianto was scared of it. It was swinging at them wildly like a very agro, very heavy drunk, with claws. As one of those claws came awfully close to his jugular Ianto suddenly had the terrifying realisation that it wasn’t just his life at stake. He flung himself back into a wall. The Hoix rounded clumsily, its clawed hands flailing, catching Ianto across the shoulder and shredding his jacket. Ianto ducked. The alien was slow. He got his gun up.  
A flare of white hot anger raced through him. He had a baby on board. Nothing, not alien not human, not bloody animal, vegetable or mineral was going to hurt his baby. He turned for access and shot it.   
He crumpled, hand cupped protectively over his perfectly flat belly fighting down an uncharacteristic burst of panic as the body collapsed on top of him. Owen’s increasingly panicked voice finally reached him and Ianto shoved, helping Owen shift the corpse off him. ‘I’m all right,’ he assured, even as he realised that his voice was coming from a hundred miles away. He was shivering and shocked and suddenly quite fed up with sitting in the mucky road in the rain. He was fed up with aliens and with Owen and Torchwood and rain and being a woman and his skirt that was rucked up around his thighs and his goddamn wet and squeaky tights.  
‘I’m all right,’ he snarled, clambering to his feet. ‘But I’m about to melt in the fucking rain. Let’s get this bastard,’ he gave the body a vicious kick, ‘in the bloody fucking car so I can go home and get warm.’  
Twtwtwtwtwtw  
Owen pulled up behind Ianto’s car. ‘Your jacket’s torn.’ He pulled on the hand brake. ‘Did it get you?’ Ianto managed to lift his frozen arm to his shoulder feeling the rent in the fabric. He probed carefully. His blouse was torn as well, incredibly his skin wasn’t although it did feel a little bruised. He’d been even luckier than he’d thought. He was startled to notice that his other hand was cupped over his belly.  
‘Another day, another ruined outfit.’ He slapped at Owen’s hand that tried to pull his clothing off his shoulder. ‘Fuck off. It’s fine. I’m going home now. I want a shower and some dry clothes and I don’t want to wear pantyhose or a bra so I’m going to stay at home.’ Owen didn’t say a word. ‘Then later,’ Ianto continued, ‘I’m going to doctor my medical notes, pun fully intended, so that it will appear I have been a perfectly normal woman all my life. Then I’m going to make an appointment with an obstetrician.’ Owen wasn’t looking at him. ‘I don’t want you having anything to do with my baby Owen. If I get hurt by a weevil or a Hoix, need stitching up, that’s fine, that’s your job as the medic. Looking after my pregnancy and my baby, that is not your job. You stay away from me. Okay.’  
‘Right,’ Owen said sourly. ‘That’s because the patients I usually deal with are dead aliens.’  
‘No Owen. That’s because you’re a fuckwit.’  
‘If you want to make your notes look real, don’t forget to add the UTIs and fungal infections you’ve suffered from.’ Ianto opened the door and got back out into the rain, ‘Chlamydia, crabs. I reckon you’ve had PID, oh and you’ve needed the morning after pill more than once and…’ Ianto slammed the door.  
Twtwtwtw  
Ianto stood under the hot water in the shower for what felt like hours. On getting out he dressed warmly in tracksuit, flannel shirt and woollen jersey but he still felt chilled. His bones seemed to have soaked up the cold and weren’t giving it up any time soon. He turned instinctively to pour a large whiskey and stopped, bottle hanging over the glass as he remembered. No alcohol now. He patted his tummy. He’d been doing that a lot. Caffeine was probably considered bad as well but Ianto was fairly sure his mother had survived on it for all of her pregnancies, it hadn’t hurt him any.  
By the time he got to the kitchen he no longer wanted coffee. In the end he found an ancient sachet of hot chocolate powder and made that. He moved back to the lounge, set it on the coffee table and forgot to drink it.  
He was pregnant. Bloody fucking hell.  
Pregnant.  
With child.  
Up… the… duff.  
He was going to have a baby. A baby that had been made the perfectly natural way by him and Jack. It wasn’t Jack though that was pregnant with that odd twist of his future anatomy, Ianto knew about that too. No it was him. He had vaguely wondered if one day, Jack might suggest that they do it, make a baby that he carried, although Ianto was hazy on what exactly would be involved to make that happen or what might be involved for Jack.  
Okay, it wasn’t quite a natural conception in that six weeks ago he wasn’t a woman and had no intention or interest in being one, but now that he was… He leaned his head back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. Oh… bloody… hell!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the upheavals of the day all Ianto wants to do it blob out. Jack has other ideas.

Quite some time later he started awake to realise that his neck was permanently kinked, drool was sticking the sofa cushion to his cheek and Jack was poking him in the ribs and sniggering. ‘Wakey wakey sunshine.’  
‘Fuck off.’  
‘Very lady like.’  
Ianto pulled his shattered wits together and tried to straighten his neck. ‘I repeat. Fuck. Off.’  
‘Not a chance.’ Jack plonked himself down beside him and placed a large warm hand around his neck. ‘Swear at me all you like. Not going anywhere.’ His fingers worked their way into just the right spot, pressing and soothing the strained muscle. Involuntarily Ianto groaned and decided not to comment when Jack tried to suppress a laugh. At least he was trying to be nice. ‘How are you doing?’ Jack pulled him in against him. ‘Is this “dress like a slob” day? No one told me.’  
‘I was wet and cold.’  
‘Hmm.’ Jack’s lips brushed his forehead. Ianto’s neck was starting to free up and he turned his head as far as it would go in either direction. ‘Careful it doesn’t screw off,’ Jack told him  
Ianto sighed and leaned into Jack. ‘I’m all right.’ He turned and looked at Jack, ‘You?’  
Jack gave him a small completely honest smile. ‘I’m fine.’ Ianto felt something in him, some worry he didn’t know he had dissolve. It was easier to breathe. He let Jack pull him in against him, relaxed into his body and had nearly dozed off when he noticed something. ‘Jack?’ he pointed at the large silver paper bag on the floor. It looked like something from a posh shop. ‘Tell me you haven’t been buying designer baby gear.’  
Jack sniggered, his breath warm on Ianto’s cheek. ‘I haven’t been buying designer baby gear.’ He sat Ianto up and reached for the bag. ‘Designer yes, baby no.’   
Ianto gave him a hard look.  
‘We can talk about babies later.’  
Curious as to what was in the bag and very reluctant to talk about babies anyway Ianto nodded.  
Jack smirked and handed him the bag. ‘Definitely designer, yes.’ He nearly bounced with excitement. ‘Open it.’  
Cautiously Ianto looked inside. There was something blue. He reached in, feeling silky fabric and pulled out… ‘Oh,’ he breathed. It was the most gorgeous fabric, a beautiful midnight blue shot with burgundy. In the folds, as the fabric moved it glowed a stunning deep red. The fabric was almost but not quite the colour of the butterflies. Carefully pulling the satiny feeling fabric from the bag Ianto held it up. ‘It’s a dress,’ he said surprised.  
‘It’s a gown,’ Jack corrected. ‘Do you like it?’  
It’s lovely,’ Ianto said because it was, ‘but… oh.’ He looked up at Jack, at the slightly nervy look on his face. ‘It’s for me, isn’t it?’ Because for a minute there, in spite of talk of babies and wearing tights to work, Ianto had forgotten.  
‘Go and put it on.’  
‘I don’t… I’ve never worn anything like this before.’  
Jack pulled him forward and kissed him. ‘You’ll look beautiful.’  
‘Well,’ Ianto conceded shyly. ‘It is sort of my colour.’  
‘Go on,’ Jack gave him a little push. ‘Go and try it on. There’s something on the bed to go with it.’   
Mystified and inexplicably nervous Ianto took the gown to the bedroom. He thought he’d been getting used to womanhood, to being a woman, hell the thought of pregnancy hadn’t freaked him out until he discovered that he’d inadvertently achieved it. But he just hadn’t thought of himself as a woman enough to see himself in a dress like this. My god, he was going to look ridiculous.  
On the bed was another designer boutique bag. With some trepidation he opened it to discover more blue fabric, scraps of fabric and lace. It was a matching lingerie set, bra, knickers and, he huffed in disbelief, suspender belt and stockings. He laid it all on the bed before stopping to look at himself in the mirror, hands on hips. He looked like a cross between a lumberjack and a bull dyke. He couldn’t believe that anything, let alone all of that gorgeous fabric on the bed could possibly make him beautiful.  
But Jack had asked and he would do anything for Jack.  
He started with the underwear. He was getting better at putting on a bra now. The fabric was silky and soft; the bra lifting his bosom and giving him more cleavage than he would have thought possible. The matching knickers shaped and drew the eye to his crotch. Lucky he wasn’t planning on wearing them with nothing over the top although presumably Jack would be demanding a fashion show for the underwear later. He pulled on the suspender belt and then had a horrendous time attaching the tops of the stockings to the suspenders. He had to admit though, when he stood in front of the mirror wearing the underwear, he did look very feminine. It was actually quite pretty. God, Jack was going to love undressing him later. He was finally realising that this whole experience wasn’t aimed at just making him feel better.  
Something out of place at the bottom of the mirror caught his attention. A shoe box. Ianto grinned, getting into this now. Sneaky Jack. Opening it Ianto wasn’t in the least surprised to discover a pair of beautiful shoes. They had just enough of a heel to look elegant but not enough to trip up an unfamiliar wearer (or he tried not to think too sourly, make him too much taller than his partner). They were in his size, and they were blue. He sat down on the bed and slipped them on. When he stood in front of the mirror again he had to admit, they completed the ensemble perfectly. He was either dressed for the bedroom or a night in one of those fancy dress sex clubs. Or maybe he could get a job as a lap dancer. He stood admiring himself for a moment before taking a big breath and turning back to the bed. Right. Now for the dress.  
He picked up the dress, letting the lovely slippery fabric run through his hands, enjoying the play of the colour over his hands. Turning his back on the mirror he took a deep breath, lifting it over his head. He pushed his arms through the arm holes and dropped it, letting it fall down over his body, the silk touching his skin like a thousand caresses.   
‘Oh,’ said Jack from behind him and he whirled, the skirt swirling around his thighs. He gaped, unable to believe what he was seeing as Jack stared, equally as goggle eyed at him. ‘Oh yourself,’ he gasped. ‘Jack… Oh my god. You look amazing.’ He walked forward slowly staring at the vision in front of him. Jack too was dressed up in a way Ianto had never seen him and he looked gorgeous. He was wearing a crisp black dress suit that fitted him perfectly. His shirt was black with a fine blue stripe and his waistcoat and tie (which was perfectly tied) were of the same fabric as Ianto’s dress. He looked perfectly stunning. He stood and gaped. Jack seemed to be having a similar reaction to him.  
‘Wow,’ Ianto finally said, running his hand over the fine fabric of Jack’s sleeves. ‘I’m guessing this means you’re not planning to peel me straight out of all this gear I’ve just got myself into.’  
Jack grinned. ‘No sorry, although I’m going to love getting you out of it later.’ He ran a hand down Ianto’s shoulder following the fabric that crossed over his breast, tucking in the facing. ‘God you look breath taking in this.’ He leant in and placed a sweet and nearly chaste kiss on Ianto’s lips. ‘We need to finish getting ready.’ A huge beam spread across his face. ‘Cinderella, you shall go to the ball.’  
‘What ball?’ Ianto asked suspiciously. He was enjoying Jack enjoying himself but after the day he’d just had he wasn’t really in the mood to go out to the pub let alone a flash do. ‘Oh Jack.’ The penny dropped, the posters had been up around the Millennium Centre for weeks. ‘Not the Spring Charity Ball?’ He could see from Jack’s face that it was. ‘Jack. Only the richest people go to that. The tickets are a hundred quid.’  
‘Yeah, well. I can afford them. Come on, turn around. I’ll zip you up.’  
Ianto turned and for the first time saw himself in the mirror and froze. The woman in the mirror was striking, attractive and definitely definitely wasn’t Ianto Jones as he knew himself. ‘Oh!’  
‘Ianto!’ Jack’s voice was suddenly sharp. His hand traced down the red scratches on his shoulder. ‘What’s this?’  
Ianto winced. It was quite tender. ‘That’s where the Hoix nearly got me.’ He couldn’t believe the way he looked. The cut of the dress gave him curves. It was a classic cut, like something Audrey Hepburn might have worn, a cross over bodice and then a long slim skirt dropping from just under the breasts, flaring slightly over the hips. If he thought about it, Audrey Hepburn had had a rather boyish figure too. Ianto couldn’t believe Jack could choose so well. The shoes peeped out from under the hem. It was incredible. Only his hair let him down and if he got to work with some gel...  
‘What Hoix?’  
‘Huh, oh only the one that Owen and I got earlier.’ His hair was already long enough to tuck behind his ears. If he gave it a bit of work with the curling tongs he could probably get it to look quite elegant.   
‘When did you get this close to a Hoix?’  
‘This afternoon.’ Ianto finally noticed that Jack seemed upset. ‘Didn’t Owen tell you?’  
‘I haven’t been back to work. I didn’t think you had either.’  
Ianto turned to face him. ‘Jack it was fine. It’s my job.’ Jack didn’t look mollified. ‘You could hardly expect Owen to face up to a rabid Hoix on his own, not with his sore arm. And you did send the girls away. Owen came and picked me up when I… er… ended up… um… stopping,’ he couldn’t tell Jack why he’d stopped the car but he didn’t seem to notice Ianto’s discomfort, ‘somewhere near where the poor beast was.’  
‘It hurt you.’  
‘Not really.’  
‘But what about the baby?’  
Ianto growled. He actually growled and Jack took a surprised step back. Ianto had known this conversation would be coming one day but this was earlier than he’d expected. He’d only just found out he was pregnant about six hours ago. ‘Not now Jack. You’re taking me to a ball remember. And if I’m not mistaken you’ve been planning this for weeks. You don’t get matching gown and waistcoat of this quality,’ he stepped forward and stroked his hands down Jack’s chest, ‘They don’t make this sort of stuff in a day.’  
Jack looked sheepish. ‘I wanted to treat you. I didn’t think you were going to stay a woman for very long but I knew you could look beautiful.’ He stroked a finger down Ianto’s cheek. ‘Do you mind.’  
‘Would you rather I were a woman?’   
Jack looked confused.  
‘Do you want a woman as your partner?’  
‘Huh?’  
‘A wife Jack. Do you want a wife? A partner with a pussy?’ because suddenly Ianto was terrified that all the good things that seemed to have been happening in their relationship lately were simply because he had been a woman. Maybe, for all Jack said that the sex of his partner meant nothing, maybe it did. Maybe that was what Jack’s fascination for Gwen had been about. ‘Do you want me; me Ianto Jones, whatever body I’m in? Or…’ Suddenly he couldn’t say it.  
‘Whatever body you’re in,’ Jack’s voice was warm and then suddenly so were his arms. ‘Ianto Jones, whatever body you are in I want you.’ He kissed his forehead, slid his lips down his nose and found his mouth. He kissed it gently and pulled back looking at Ianto fondly. Ianto realised cynically that the blue fabric they were both wearing did wonderful things to Jack’s eyes. ‘I just thought… You were so worried about how you looked as a woman; I just knew if I found the right clothes I could prove it to you. That you are an absolutely gorgeous woman. And then, well then I needed a reason to get you a dress like this and a ball seemed perfect. Plus,’ he said and Ianto knew Jack knew he sounded a little smug, ‘you’ll get to dance with me and people will only be looking because we make such a wonderful couple.  
And if that wasn’t just the most nauseous sick making little speech that Jack had ever made.   
‘Now,’ Jack said. ‘Would you like me to do your makeup to go with that? I’m quite good at it. Really.’


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team are amused and Ianto is horny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I wrote of this.   
> No, I'm not intending to write any more.   
> Yes, Ianto will have a healthy baby.  
> No, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl  
> Yes, eventually, he will change back   
> Yes, Jack will make an excellent Dad.  
> No, I can't remember what I was planning to do with the butterflies.

‘One of Cardiff’s most eligible bachelors,’ Gwen chortled, brandishing the magazine section of the Saturday paper, ‘is now off the market. The enigmatic Captain Jack Harkness was spotted at the Spring Charity Ball last Saturday night with a sweet young thing,’ she sputtered but manfully kept reading, ‘on his arm. The unnamed young woman with a mannish hair style (is this the new look on the continent?),’ it was all Gwen could do to go on, ‘and wearing a gown by local designer Calvin Lamb,’ she paused again and whistled. Ianto raised his eyebrows and glared at Jack who shrugged. Gwen continued, ‘that matched her handsome partner’s waistcoat, is apparently the new love of his life.’ Owen made choking sounds as Tosh giggled. Gwen held up her hand to silence them. ‘Harkness was heard to tell someone that they are expecting a child and he couldn’t be happier. Ladies of Cardiff,’ she finished with a flourish, ‘Captain Harkness is off the market.’ She dumped the newspaper on the conference room table and collapsed across it, howling with laughter.  
Ianto glared at his colleagues. He glared at Jack. Owen, Gwen and Tosh were completely paralysed with mirth. Jack was smiling but it was fondly. He reached out and took Ianto’s hand, lifting it to his lips and kissing the back of it. ‘Daft git,’ Ianto said softly.  
‘Come here.’ Jack led him out of the conference room and around the corner to the room they were in the process of kitting out as a proper med bay, one that didn’t have to share the task with alien autopsies. The room was empty except for two old chairs and a plank. They were nearly ready to paint. They were in each other’s arms before they’d shut the door.  
‘That dress is a Calvin Lamb?’ Ianto asked as he wrenched Jack’s trousers down. The braces only slowed him for a moment.  
‘Only the best,’ Jack gasped as he latched his mouth onto Ianto’s neck. His hands shoved his skirt up then encountered tights and knickers. He growled.  
Ianto freed Jack’s cock from his underwear as Jack, rather violently, worked the tights down his legs. ‘Suspenders and stockings, no knickers. Make a note of that for the future Miss Jones.’  
‘Shut up,’ Ianto told him, shoving him backwards until his legs collided with the chair and rather abruptly Jack sat. His trousers were around his ankles, his cock poking out from under his shirt. Ianto salivated looking at the picture it made, Jack Harkness, completely debauched and wanting him. He kicked off his shoes and quickly got his underwear all the way off. ‘I am so horny,’ he whispered as he sank down onto Jack’s lap. ‘God you make me wild.’ He ground against Jack’s cock.  
‘You too,’ Jack breathed. Ianto lifted and Jack used his hand to line himself up. Ianto sank down again, Jack’s cock sliding into him sweet and true. It was perfect, so perfect. They stayed like that, locked together, gazing at each other, breathing each other’s breath. It was intense. Then suddenly it was too much. They dived for each other’s mouths as Ianto lifted and ground down on Jack, taking him deep. Jack thrust up.  
It was a brief quick down and dirty fuck, Ianto shattering in Jack’s arms as Jack grunted and pulsed into him.  
They sat forehead to forehead, catching their breaths, arms around each other. Jack’s hand came up and stroked his cheek. Ianto pulled back and smiled. Jack was utterly adorable like this, flushed, panting and open. ‘What it said in the paper,’ Jack smiled shyly. ‘It’s true.’  
‘About you being Cardiff’s most enigmatic eligible bachelor?’  
‘About how I couldn’t be happier.’  
Ianto kissed him. Jack’s softening cock slid out of his cunt. Then the shutters came down.  
‘Do you think we can do some work now?’ Jack asked.  
Ianto grinned. ‘Might manage a few more hours before I need to jump you again.’ He lifted off with a groan. ‘Yuck. Messy.’ His legs were shaking.   
Laughing, Jack used Ianto’s knickers to clean them up. ‘What?’ he asked when Ianto glared at him. ‘You’ve got clean ones in your locker.’  
The others were still in the conference room, still winding down from their attack of hilarity, still having the odd hiccough and giggle. ‘All right now?’ Jack asked. ‘Done talking behind our backs? Got it out of your system?’  
Owen gave a very audible sniff and gave Jack a pointed look. ‘Ten minutes, that something of a record.? What about you two? Got it out of your system?’  
Ianto smirked. ‘Oh yeah.’ As his underwear had been used for the clean-up he currently wasn’t wearing any and the reminder of what they’d just been doing was seeping down his thighs. He wouldn’t like it for long but he was kinky enough to be enjoying it now.  
Owen left it at that.  
No one mentioned that Ianto had left the room wearing tights and returned without them. He was fairly sure that they had all noticed.  
Twtwtwtwtwtwtwtw  
As Jack gave out orders for the day Ianto realised something. ‘Tosh, if you’ve got a bit of down time, have another go at the SheBear’s escape pod. Get Owen to help you on the life support systems. It could be useful to know how it all works. Might have to use it ourselves one day.  
‘Gwen I need your intell on the new council members and which ones it would be best that we worked with. Look for past interest in UFOs, advanced science knowledge, that sort of thing.   
‘Owen, whatever’s going on with the Hoix, we really need to be on top of it and we need to know about contagion and if there’s any danger of cross species transfer?’ Owen rolled his eyes. ‘I know you know how to do your stuff Owen, but I’m the boss and the stuff I do is to tell you what to do.’ Jack winked at him.  
‘Now Ianto, these butterflies are getting out of control. I want you to figure out where they’re coming from and do something about it.’ He waved at the three that were fluttering lazily around the TV screen. ‘I think we finally have to admit that this isn’t normal.’  
‘The ladies loo was packed with them this morning,’ Gwen offered helpfully.  
‘So,’ Ianto asked. ‘Does this mean that I’m never leaving the hub again?’  
Jack just looked at him while the others all looked at Jack. Jack finally huffed out a breath. ‘No Ianto, I hadn’t thought of it like that, not yet. What I was thinking was that the damn butterflies need sorting out and no one knows the hub like you do. Find where they’re coming from and do something about it.  
‘That’s it people. Get on with it,’ and Jack swung out of the room.  
The others were all looking at Ianto. ‘What?’  
Owen patted him on the shoulder. ‘That’s it mate. It’s his baby too. He’ll be subtle about it, but you’re never leaving the hub again.’  
Ianto sighed. ‘I’ll go get the butterfly net.’  
Owen wrinkled his nose. ‘Best go have a wash first.’


End file.
